And now, dear readers, you can survive and thrive the apocalypse!
You’re welcome.
Over the past week, our international team of correspondents – many of whom are experts in post-apocalyptic studies (the other one is named “Martin”) – discussed how the world will probably end, what it will look like around the world, what skills you will need to survive, how you will live on anyway, and a general planning guide for the post-apocalyptic world. We wrapped up the week with a special The List and Kurt pulled himself together to complete a rousing interview with John Connor (because Kurt probably believes in Johnism).
Anyway, here is a brief and editorialized synopsis of the week’s offerings:
Day 1: The Apocalypse Project Begins!
- Lesson learned: there is something really, really interesting happening with the planets in our solar system; this being said, the infinite John Horn’s who live in the infinite other universes don’t really think it’s that interesting. Yeah, I just blew your mind!
Day 2: The Many Horsemen of the Apocalypse
- Lessons learned: first, thanks to Lord Hashbrown III for teaching everyone how to spell “Gumboot” in Ancient Mayan; second, while I certainly champion Kurt’s well-supported argument that computers – or, more specifically, “Google” – will rise up and destroy us, it also seems highly likely that Cobra Commander has some sort of zombie-based strategy up his sleeve; third, let’s face it, Mother Nature isn’t too pleased with us and she’s probably going to be the one who ends it all (civilization, not the Earth).
Day 3: The Global Toolkit of Skills You Will Need to Survive the Apocalypse
- Lessons learned: I dunno…something about throwing dinner parties for Marxists?!
Day 4: An Apocalypse Planning Guide
- Lessons learned: community asset maps and outdoor skills are essential in the post-apocalyptic world; we need to know where things are and, most likely, how to fight zombies in the woods. Oh, and cardio is really, really important, too. Because whether it’s a Terminator, a thousand zombies, or a tidal wave, when the world ends you’re going to be outrunning something.
Day 5: The ApocaList
- Lesson learned: Michelle really doesn’t like it when I put her On Notice, even if it’s all in good fun. And, in her defense, she has since come up with a much better survival plan – we don’t want to share it, though, because then you (or worse, Google) will know.
Day 6: Interview with John Connor
- Lesson learned: Kurt Heinrich is an intrepid interviewer who can travel in the future to conduct an interview that is published in the past because he sent his father back in time to work for The Daily Gumbo – they made how many of these movies?
Courtesy of Kookaburra2011
In conclusion, The Daily Gumboot community hopes that you this series made you laugh, made you scrunch-up your face in a quizzical manner, made you angry, and, most importantly, made you think about the end of the world. After all, it’s probably the only world we’ve got. So, before we, as a community, plan how to live once it dies, let’s think about how we can work together to keep it alive!
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Masthead photo courtesy of Stuck in Customs
for this is to head outside and start learning skills like building fires, sleeping outside, purifying water, traveling by human power (hiking, skiing, canoeing), and protecting food stores from wildlife.
