The "spacken" in his natural habitat.

Douchebags in Germany… For once, my dear Gumbooteers, I don’t have an answer. The term first came to my attention two or three years ago, when I saw the infamous douchebag-girl on youtube. As for the German incarnation of the DB – I believe there are many. You could talk “Spacko” or “Spacken”, meaning people who are inept to properly look after themselves – general failures of the kind that you can’t even pity because these guys are really, really idiots.

“Spacko” is also often heard, if someone who is socialized in a metal- or rock-context (real rock, not, you know, The Killers or such crap) wants to designate a really, big-time uncool person.

“Opfer”, would be another take, involving mainly the immigrant’s viewpoint, especially seen from the popcultural vantage-point of Hip Hop. “Opfer” means “victim”. The term is used quite widely, and there are certain parts of Berlin or Hamburg, where ANY average ethnic German may be regarded as an “opfer” by the prowling ghetto youth. Well – there you go. Three or four decades of not trying to really integrate people into the mainstream of German society – and the whole thing tilts. Somehow the negativity of “douchebag” makes me think that, maybe, if I had to translate “Opfer” into English, I’d go for douchebag as an equivalent.

Ghetto-kids at some problem-school in Berlin. These tykes surely know who their "opfers" are.

Alright, and now for some complementing terms you might also use, just for variance of expression: “Honk”, “Doespaddel”, “Depp”, “Vollhonk”, “Behindi”, “Vollarsch”, “geistiger Fußgaenger”, “Flachschaedel” – oh I could go on like this forever, I suppose. The gist, I guess, is this: We know the equivalents of douchebags in many shades and forms. Yet the phenomenon as such… does not exist, I’m afraid. But then again – thanks to the web, I recently heard someone on a train swearing “Bob Saget!”. So – if it’s on the web, it’ll be on German streets one fine day. Which will be when I will welcome douchebagdom with open arms! ^ ^