An Apocalypse Planning Guide

According to the Mayan calendar, we have 329 days until the end of the world.  If you haven’t started planning yet (nothing like a “DEADline”), I’ve started to put together a planning guide of things to do to get ready for the impending disaster that will ensue.

Check something (if not many things off) your bucket list.
Our time on earth is limited.  We all have lots of things we would like to do someday but it is so easy to let the routine of busy schedules get in the way.  If you don’t have a bucket list of things that you want to do someday, make one, and then prioritize a couple of things that you can do this year.  It will help with the mental preparation for the end of the world if you know that you have a few less things outstanding.

Explore apocalyptic/dystopian scenarios through novels and film.
While the earlier debate in this series of computers vs. zombies may have you convinced of how the end will come, it seems to me that there are lots of other options for how the world could end.  It could be a flood, it could be a nuclear winter, it could be a plague, it could be World War III, or it could just be the end of the world as we know it with corporations, governments, the media, and/or all of humanity changing how we live in terrible, horrific ways.  Thankfully, the human imagination has explored countless scenarios already through the genre of dystopian novels and film, and even has the sub-genre specializing in apocalypse.  Wikipedia has compiled extensive summary, so check out a few to see what we might be in for.

Prepare a community asset map.
When the apocalypse comes, you will not be alone.  You need to look around you to think about how your community will cope.  And this shouldn’t be an exercise in who is the best candidate to be the “Piggy” on your island.  Instead, I would suggest that through your networks and neighbourhood there are many strengths and opportunities that you haven’t yet discovered.  You need to look around you in a positive way to maximize your chances during the apocalypse and work together to leverage the skills, knowledge and resources that are on hand or can be developed.

Develop outdoor skills.
While the world is ending, odds are food, water, energy, transportation and many of the other things that we enjoy in our everyday lives will stop being as readily available to us.  Plus zombies tend to congregate in urban centres. One of the best ways to prepare for this is to head outside and start learning skills like building fires, sleeping outside, purifying water, traveling by human power (hiking, skiing, canoeing), and protecting food stores from wildlife.

Begin a physical training program.
It might come down to survival of the fittest, so a key part of apocalypse preparation should be physical conditioning (as tempting as it might be to live on a diet of beer and cheese the last couple of months).  You might need to doing some outrunning, some climbing, or some squeezing into awkward spaces if you want to survive. So the generally recommended mix of cardio, strength and flexibility training is likely a good baseline for end of the world preparation. Zombies are slow, but persistent, so focus on endurance training.

Pack an apocalypse emergency kit.
Most of us aren’t even ready with a 72 hour emergency kit that the federal government recommends for natural disasters.  So that isn’t a bad place to start and there is already a great Gumboot post on this.  Since we don’t know how it is going to go down, it would likely pay to have the kit remain fairly light weight and portable in case you need to be on the move.  The bonus is that it shouldn’t be prohibitively expensive and if you already have camp gear most of it can play double duty. Thinks about adapting this kit to include tools practical to both dig gardens and for zombie defense.

Have a plan for December 21.
A combination apocalypse and solstice calls for special plans.  Whether it is a grand party or more low key celebration, you should do have something to do that day to keep you busy up until the end, however it might come.  It is a great chance for reflection, celebration, and exploration of the potential if tomorrow does somehow come.  And most importantly, a time to feast and share.

And in the off chance that the Mayans were wrong, by using this list you still have done something you’ve always wanted to do, explored a genre of literature and film, got to know the strengths and potential of your community, are in better shape, explored the great outdoors, have an emergency kit on hand, and had the great party.  Not a bad way to spend 2012.

The Many Horsemen of the Apocalypse

Terminators and the Apocalypse (vs. Zombies and the Apocalypse)

Scary or awesome or both?

How’s it all going to end? My guess is we’re more likely to end up fighting terminators/computers than we are zombies. Here are my top reasons why we’re more likely to face off against killing machines than the walking dead.

1)      You need only to chart the exponential growth of computer chips or data storage (remember when 1 megabyte was the space for your entire hard-drive?) to get a sense of how quickly computers are being improved. How many more years of exponential growth until AI exists and then becomes “Skynetish” in its intelligence?

2)      The internet, while amazing for humans, is even MORE amazing for computers. It’s like having a mind-meld to all your buddies allowing you to share information and solve problems instantaneously. All the sudden you don’t need to build bigger and bigger computers to get the raw scheming, Machiavellian mind of a super-computer a la Terminator; you can network a whole bunch of little computers and get way more bang for your buck

3)      Our entire society is pretty much reliant on computers. Unlike zombies, which I think we’d all agree we can do without, computers and their accompanying software is pretty much the foundation of the modern information economy. Even if we saw Skynet coming (which we probably won’t) and tried to “turn off” our computers or the internet, it’d be like ripping out your heart to save yourself from a heart attack. Raw deal, no matter what way you cut it.

4)      The US government has already probably built Terminators in some high-tech lab buried under Colorado’s mountains. Yeah, they probably also have developed some sort of killer zombiesque virus too, but that’s a lot less socially acceptable than high-tech “drone” weapons systems that have already made their appearances on the battlefield.

World Enders In Their Own Words

Regardless of what the other gumbooteers here say about the end of the world, I’m convinced it’s going to be triggered by a super villain or evil-doer of note. What’s the best defense against an evil-doer?

Well, some might say a good offence. Fair enough.

How do you build a good offence? Beyond pouring trillions into a military-industrial complex you start with a foundation of intelligence. You paint a picture of your enemy’s motives and monitor their every move. Infiltrate their communications.

Get a leg up on the coming apocalypse by tapping into the thoughts of our some prime suspects.

Victor Von Doom
Why? DOOM – duh – It’s in his name. And while his tweets don’t reveal a lot of detail about his plans for world destruction they do offer a great glimpse into the twisted mind of this super villain.

Cobra Commander
Why? Cobra shares exactly what he’s up to. Half the time it’s destabilizing governmnets and working to undermine society, the other half it’s chasing ladies. Meaning this intel is about 50% gold when it comes to heading off hell-on-earth.

Darth Vader
Why? Literally a world ender. Alderaan was a peaceful planet, so just think of what he might do to a planet like ours if he gets his hands on another fully-functional battle station.

And to follow on that note, @Deathstarpr is working the spin on spinning planets out of orbit

The Terminator
Why? If we’re worried about technology taking over the best place to start is with technology from the possible-future where it already has… that makes sense right?

Editors note – I agree with Michael on this observation that Terminators will likely end the world…

The Apocalypse Project Begins!

CarlosVanVegas - Mayan Calendar

The world as we know it will end on December 21, 2012. There, I said it. Exactly how this is going to happen is debatable, but planetary alignment is a part of it. And there are a few theories (zombies, more zombies, meteors, robots, God, Mother Nature, nuclear war, aliens, nuclear-zombie-dinosaur-terminators) regarding how we will meet our end. And several “survival guides” and “tip sheets” and “disaster kit lists” are also available for all of your post-apocalyptic-planning needs. And this is why The Daily Gumboot team is excited to bring you The Apocalypse Project. Because such a thorough and comprehensive assessment of how humanity will end, how you can survive, and how you can re-build – or newly build – your post-apocalyptic community ever been written.

Until now.

Ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to The Apocalypse Project!

Over the next seven days, our international team of correspondents will answer the following questions:

  • Are you talking about civilization ending or the world ending?
  • How is the world (or civilization or whatever) going to end?
  • Who are these “Mayans”? And where is their “Mayan” country? Can’t we just attack it or something?
  • Are “Mayans” like zombies? Because it seems like zombies are going to be a big problem pretty soon. What are your tips for dealing with a Zombie Apocalypse?
  • What about robots and technology? How are they – or is it – going to rise up and destroy us all?
  • You write about the Sun a lot. Will that have something to do with it?
  • So the world is ending, what skills do I need to survive?
  • What are some good tips for growing food in a post-apocalyptic hellscape? What about Detroit?
  • In the post-apocalyptic world, how can I be a leader of people? Like Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games.
  • Why can’t we all just hop on a plane and go to Earth 2?
  • According to String Theory, we all live in alternate universes at the same time. So, does any of this really matter?
  • When civilization as we know it crumbles into oblivion, will people still be nice to each other?
  • I hear that John Travolta, Richard Branson and Rain (the Korean pop star) all have bunkers. Where are they and how can we infiltrate them?
  • How will your bloggers’ “superpowers” build “community” in this post-apocalyptic world?

Courtesy of ian on Flickr

All these questions (and more) will be answered during the next week. From zombies to terminators to Gaya to supervillains, we will chronicle the Earth’s possible potential probable definite demise. Don’t worry. We’ll also talk about how you and your community can survive and thrive (before, during and after) the apocalypse. Oh, and Kurt is going to interview John Connor (the leader of The Resistance).

Hey, Twitterverse, all I can say is this: you’re welcome.

Enjoy the apocalyptic edutainment!