Months ago, after the viewing of a film, Kurt Heinrich and John Horn decided to overcoming the mid-november blues by hosting the dinner party of dinner parties. It happened on November 14, 2009 and the event was called Turduckenfest 2009. This is the story.
Don't worry, good readers. The whole thing only gets more delicious (not to mention Foodsafe) from here!
John: Few know this, but the Turducken is the North American cousin of the penguin. It’s layers of fatty meatty tissue make it well suited for surviving – nay, thriving – in the tree line of Canada. Since Sarah Palin allowed the helicopter-based hunting of Turduckens, their population has dwindled slightly. But, as Ms. Palin will tell you, this doesn’t make them any less delicious. So that’s where we got our Tuducken. In the hinterland between Alaska and the Yukon. Don’t believe anything Kurt tells you.
Kurt: While my co-editor is correct that the beast we ate was a turducken, his fabulous tale of the origins of the species are somewhat suspect. The true story of the turducken is they were bred in middle earth by feisty orks as fodder for their celebratory meals after battle with hobbits. But the Dark Lord Suaron took the poor animals and twisted them into hideously demented creatures. Their true evil is matched only by their pure deliciousness. Or so the legend goes. So John, considering the varied history(s) of the turducken – what’s your top three favorite things about the bird(s)?
John: Here are my three favourite things:
1. The assembly process – nothing builds community like de-boning a chicken, duck and turkey, filling them all with stuffing, squeezing them all together, and then sewing it up until it looks like some sort of crazy zombie-like-turkey-creature. It takes teamwork, creativity and a tolerance for disgustingness! 2. The cooking – it takes between 10-12 hours to perfectly cook a Turducken (there’s so much inside that you have to do it on a low heat for a long time); such a method takes Jedi-like patience, and it just makes the meal taste better. 3. The final product - when 15 people are sitting around a steaming Turducken (not to mention all the delicious side dishes that go with it) and the chef makes that first, deep cut through three layers of meat from three different birds, well, it’s just a beautiful reflection of community at its best.
How did the dinner make you feel, Kurt buddy? Physically, mentally, spiritually?
Kurt: I have to say it made me feel very happy.
Physically, I felt satiated.
Mentally, I felt calmed (the wine helped that too).
Spiritually, I felt complete – all the friends, good food and Jenn (we were so attached to our turducken, we named her Jenn, after our friend from Bishop’s University who came over for a dinner on The Drive and got more than she bargained for, as Jenn filmed some of the turducken-assembly process) sitting there pleasantly on the centre platter made me feel like a very real part of a completed community.
I imagine our readers are looking forward to seeing what we’re talking about, don’t you John? Should we show them the little video we made now – or just keep it to ourselves?
John: We need to share our wisdom and expertise in community-building. This kind of magic needs to be exported to people and their communities around the world where there is an abundance of chickens and ducks and turkeys and very few vegetarians. Speaking of vegetarians, well, you’ve been warned about the video that lies below. Enjoy yourselves, everyone, and thanks for armchair-viewing the historic community-based event that was Turduckenfest 2009!
So there it is. We encourage every reader of The DG to comment on this story. Mostly, though, we would love it if the folks – nay, the community – who attended Turduckenfest 2009 to let us – and the rest of the blogosphere – know what you thought about your first ever turducken experience. First question: do you now feel like you belong to an exclusive community?
Are these pumpkins just hanging out or are they planning something?
Dear Pumpkins,
Hey. How’s it going? I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re great. All orange and hearty and delicious. I especially love the ones of you that come from the UBC Farm, where this picture was taken. Amazing. Bright orange (natural orange, by the way) and thankfully – or Thanksgivingy – delicious. Whether for carving or eating (or roasting seeds for eating during some ghoulish carving), these heavenly gourds are as multi-functional as they are delicious. Pumpkins, I hope you find a great home for Thanksgiving, Halloween and beyond. And, hey, we love the orange; don’t change a thing.
Welcome to Learning from Pirate Communities, one of the best-selling series here at The Daily Gumboot. Here’s the deal: we participants in humanity operate within a paradigm or framework of themes and ideas (gender, race and culture, environmental stewardship, ideology, weapons, business, entrepreneurship, art, tasty drinks, and fashion). Many people from many academic disciplines explore such themes from a myriad of perspectives. The Editor-in-Chief of this publication discusses such ideas through a lens of Piratology, because, hey, pirates represent an edutaining and approachable subject that interests people. Consequently, we can learn a lot from pirates. Just read more to find out!
Cowboys don't suck, but this is a great conversation starter!
Today we will be talking about building relationships. And we will also talk about funny tshirts. Let’s start with an amazing quote:
“Relationships are all there is. Everything in the universe only exists because it is in relationship to everything else. Nothing exists in isolation. We have to stop pretending we are individuals that can go it alone.” And this fantastic bit of unpretentious and collaborative wisdom is brought to us by Maragret Wheatley.
In a gesture of wisdom, charisma and unpretentiousness, my boss recently handed me a copy of Keith Ferrazzi’sNever Eat Alone and it’s been a bit of an inspiration. Spoiler alert: there is going to be an ongoing series about this topic here at The Gumboot, as there is just so much to explore when it comes to building relationships that build community.
Now, let’s get back to pirates for a minute and discuss why relationship-building is so important for success. The greatest pirate in the history of the world was named Madame Cheng. And one of the reasons she became the greatest was because of the relationships she built throughout her career. Let’s time travel back to 1807, where hundreds of Chinese pirates were looking for a leader. An opportunity presented itself. As she cajoled and negotiated and charmed her way to prominence in China’s pirate community, Madame Cheng took on a young lover; the adopted son of a fisherman named ChengPao. And here’s the kicker: she made the kid head of the Red Sea fleet, which was the biggest and most important in the Confederation. Certainly, she did something that was very, very generous for the young man and, perhaps, even a bit risky. But, once the door was open, the kid was simply dynamite; he knew tides and currents and tactics and weather and pretty much everything there was to know about robbing people on the high seas. By 1810, Madame Cheng’s pirate fleet was larger than those of most countries navies. She commanded between 600-800 coastal vessels, hundreds of small, river junks, and tens of thousands of pirates. From a position of power, she negotiated a peace treaty with Britain, Portugal, the Netherlands, and Chinese authorities and, following the agreement, sought an early retirement with her husband, ChengPao. Through organization, relationship-building and recognizing top talent, Madame Cheng created a pirate fleet the likes of which no one has ever seen (or well ever again see). And for three years she ran the shipping lanes of the China Sea and Strait of Malacca for decades.
Build a reputation (ie. fearsome pirate) to build relationships!
The takeaway from this story: it’s an easy one; be generous and give’r! Connect people from different parts of your life who can help each other out. Provide opportunities. Also, be willing to receive generosity – in our entrepreneurial, individualistic, John Wayne-worshipping, American Dream culture, this can be tough to do. Furthermore, when you have positive relationships with people, they will be excited and eager to spread the word – the good word – about you. Sure, when we help others the entire community is raised to a new and better level; the fact that you’re the one doing the building and connecting, well, such things do not go unnoticed.
Over the next few months, we will explore several aspects of building relationships. Here is a brief list of topics to be covered:
Making a first impression.
Listening and doing homework.
Adding value (unexpectedly, even).
Hugs and random acts of kindness.
Risk taking and giant balls.
“Trading up and Giving Back.”
Mentors and Mentees.
Twitblogging the Interscape.
The intersection of talent and passion.
“Never Eat Alone.”
Are you excited? Here’s a sneak preview about making a first impression.
First thing’s first. Decide who you want to make an impression with and why you want to do it (the why is important; for example, if you want to build a relationship with a gang, well, maybe think twice about such things).
Second. Learn about who they are, what they do, how they do it, and what style they exude while they’re doing it. You don’t need to mimic or replicate their behaviour, but know what the “touch points” of a conversation should look like.
Kym is full of witticisms like this; it's kinda like Russell Peters meets Roots...but cooler!
Third. Dress the part. If you want to give to the Grandview-Woodlands community, well, you might not want to show up in a suit and tie. This one time, I was rocking a corduroy blazer with a tie on my way home from work and got called a “douchebag” by a group of twentysomethings as I sauntered northward on The Drive. In my ‘hood. Towards my home. What can I say? People are superficial creatures.
Fourth. Smile. Be nice. This is common sense, but it is not common practice. Just ask the people who judged and heckled me when they could’ve been smiling and saying, “s’up, man?” Fun fact: when you meet someone at a networking event on a date or walking up Commercial Drive (perhaps you would like to build a relationship with them) people form judgments about you in less than 90 seconds. Like it or not, how you look counts for a lot.
Fifth. Be more interested than interesting. Don’t just ask questions. Ask great questions. We’ll get into active listening in the next section!
One of my favourite ways to make a first impression is with funny tshirts. No, I don’t usually do this when I go to work at Business School – when I put on my business socks, after all, it’s business time. But, yes, funny tshirts. I mean, they’re great conversation starters. I have a variety of shirts I’ve made, had commissioned and bought online over the years. Nearly all of them turn heads. One says “Johnism” and another acknowledges that “Nerds are Awesome” and I even have one that suggests that “Ninjas and Pirates Agree: Cowboys Suck.” In their own special way, they create moments of conversation. Even with cowboys! (Editor’s note: I usually defuse a potentially angry conversation with some points about Cormac McCarthy’s All the Pretty Horses; it’s one of my favourite books and is full of cowboys; bam, before you know it I’m talking about literature with a cowboy-loving stranger!). After all, everybody has a sense of humour.
Speaking of senses of humour and building relationships, I’d like to connect generosity, pirates and funny tshirts. Kymela Banguis used to work with me, but she’s striking out on her own because her burgeoning tshirt business is demanding more of her time (Engrish pictured). Kym will be profiled on the Get to Know Your Community segment this Sunday and, well, I just have to say that I wish Kym the absolute best as, like any good pirate, she has left our ship for one that she will have a chance to steer herself. Check out her website and tell your friends about it. After all, no great thing in history (like funny tshirt making) was ever done by just one person. Only by connecting with each other can we truly achieve greatness.
Thanks. Now get out there and make a great first impression.
As it turns out, the recession is effecting the global economy, which, consequently, is negatively impacting the Canadian economy. Shocking, I know. And you heard it here first, from The Daily Gumboot.
“What’s that? Oh, everyone already knows this? Um, okay, we’ll have to think of something else, then.”
So, it turns out that the Canadian jobless rate is going to hit 10%, or so says Mark Carney and the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD). According to the OECD, Stephen Harper and the Conservative government need to act quickly and decisively if the country is to avoid a crisis of joblessness. Depending on when and where you read “news” in BC, we are in the midst of a terrible recession (unfortunately emphasized by massive youth unemployment and under employment), or we are on the “cusp of recovery” because of cool new job numbers. No matter what, the employment situation in Canada is tougher than it’s been in a long, long time. A recent National Post article even revealed that many job seekers out there are dumbing down their resumes in order to remain competitive. And, to close the loop on this terrible situation, Tavia Grant’s article in Tuesday, September 22nd’s Globe and Mail accurately paints a picture of Canada’s workplaces being part of “an employer’s market!” Are you searching for work in your community? If so, we wish you the best of luck.
I mean, you can wait for Stephen Harper, the Canadian government, industry executives, Mark Carney, your mom, and Batman to do something about it, or you can combine some savvy career advice from this publication with your own awesomeness, and get out there and find meaningful work.
Here are some sure-fire, can’t-miss, foolproof, golden, and amazing tips on how you can thrive in an employer’s market.
1. Learn about emerging industries and new trends. The world is changing. Obviously. And now is the time for you to find your new place in it. For example, first year university and college students in Canada will, most likely, finish school and secure a job that doesn’t exist today. And whether you’re a 50-plus year old forestry worker from Prince George or a nickle worker from Sudbury, you are in a position to re-invent yourself as an employee. Things are changing, after all. Even when they stay the same. Alternative energy, corporate social responsibility and information technology are all pretty hot right now. It turns out that we will continue to use technology and people to overcome envirnmental challenges and the sinful human practice of greed. Not bad things to get involved in, if I do say so myself. Oh, and by 2012 immigrants will account for all net labour market growth in the Canadian economy, so, yeah, I guess do some reading up on where some demographic-related holes are going to emerge, too.
2. Hide in school. MBA applications to North American B-Schools are way up, according to Business Week. Why? Well, school is a great place to add value to your professional toolkit during an employer’s market, where opportunities are scarce and hiring and promotions are in a bit of a holding pattern. Now is a great time to invest in your education and get trained in anything from urban planning to social media marketing to library science to any shot-term, additional degree/diploma/certificate that compliments your existing education. Just make sure that your value is being increased while in school (ie. if you think a communications certificate is going to land you a project management position in a public relations firm when you have no work experience in the field, well, then the recession isn’t your biggest problem).
3. Get up early. Then network. This kind of thing is common sense, but it’s not common practice. Listen to leadership gurus like Robin Sharma to learn what it takes to get up early. Every day. It seems simple enough, but it’s not; especially for people who are un-employed or under-employed, as they lack motivation. Figure out what it takes to motivate yourself to get up early and be ready for action. Then go and talk to the people who work where you want to work (in a specific position or in an industry/organization about which you are thoroughly passionate) – we in the career development business call these folks “decision makers” (ie. they make the decision to hire you or not). Twitblog the interscape, read newspapers and magazines, peruse the Yellow Pages, visit libraries, and talk to people in order to find out where the decision makers you want to meet hang out together. Then go there and learn more about what it takes to work in their industry and/or for their organization. There are countless resources and tips about networking, especially for all you introverts out there. After you get up early, make sure you relax, too!
A good impression on paper, sure, but how about in person? You can barely see the guy!
4. Manage your expectations, and love change. So you want to be a Product Developer with Google. Well, a lot of people do. And since a lot of Product Developers just got laid off, um, everywhere, things just got a lot more competitive. Needless to say, now is a great time to consider where (geographically, functionally, by industry, and by company) you can find the type of professional experience you are looking for, even if it might not be your dream job. CareerLeader, a Brookline, Massachusetts career consultancy has the following to say about bringing discipline to the dream during the recession: “We need the discipline of analysis to identify the skills and experience we need to advance toward our dream and to explore all of the various work settings where we can gain those skills and experience. If we have our vision before us, to revisit for renewed inspiration, then we won’t experience these skillful adjustments as failures or the abandonment of ‘the dream.’ Rather, we’ll feel new energy when we see them for what they are: true progress toward something that is real and important, toward what we want to be doing, and to be.” Your dream job will come eventually (even for you, Astronaut Cowboy), you just need to be patient. For you graduates, remember that where you start your career usually has nothing to do with where you finish it.
5. Make a polished and professional first impression: in person, on paper and online. This one is complicatedly simple. It all begins with knowing your audience and doing the research that will make them say, “wow, that was a great question!” Knowing the most about anything will make you stand out from the crowd. Being appropriately dressed (ie. if you want to be a server in The Bump ‘n’ Grind on The Drive, don’t show up in a freakin’ suit!), groomed and offering a solid handshake are all key. Eye contact and active listening are also phenomenally important for making a good impression in person. As for the impression on paper, here’s the deal: if you are a student, go to your university or college career centre right now; if you aren’t a student, check out the multiple career centres around your community and make an appointment to build a great resume. Here’s a tip: no matter how amazing, professional or experienced you are, try to create a one-page resume that you can use as a follow-up after meetings or networking events. As for your online impression, well, it turns out that the internet is on computers these days. Whether it’s something as simple as cleaning up your Facebook account, creating (and using) a LinkedIn profile, or showcasing your knowledge and style by blogging about an indutry in which you are, having a positive and interesting online presence is becoming more and more important.
So there it is. A healthy and sustainable community, after all, is made up of people who do meaningful work – and you deserve nothing less. Once again, as I say to my students, such ideas might be common sense, but they are not common practice. As you begin to create good career habits, be sure to have fun with it, too!
CLJ Reviews All the Pretty Horses by Cormac McCarthy
What We Read
Have you ever gone on a road trip? What about camping? Well, these are more or less the subjects of All the Pretty Horses by Cormac McCarthy. Except that the road trip – obviously – involves horses and the camping is done by cowboys – Rawlins and John Grady Cole – in post-WW2 Texas and, mostly, Mexico. The tale is an adventurous, romantic, beautiful, tragic, and heroic one. And it’s told with an eloquence that is rarely seen in American literature. In this humble blogger’s opinion, All the Pretty Horses is a true American classic.
What We Did (and How We Did It)
Book Club participated in “The Trial of John Grady Cole” – this was a hypothetical mock trial, which built on one of the novel’s threads: John Grady Cole was accused of stealing a horse (among other things). Members of The Circle of Literary Judgement were asked (at random) to play different characters from the book. The better they acted, the more points they got. Kurt Heinrich won the trophy for a simply uncanny portrayal of Jimmy Blevins.
What We Thought
We all agreed that John Grady Cole and/or Lacey Rawlins are dudes that you would want on a road trip, in a rainstorm or in a gang fight in a Mexican jail. Some members, I won’t say who, have named this as their all-time favourite Book Club book. Some people struggled with the writing – short, curt and the Spanish isn’t translated. The story is gripping and more nuanced than any of us thought while reading it. Because, hey, you just get distracted by the simple, manly dialogue, the breathtaking scenery, and the horses…since they’re so darn pretty. It was a great read, you sumbucks!
About a month ago, an up-and-coming business magazine, the Harvard Business Review, released an article called “The 10 Trends You Have To Watch.” The article is penned by Eric Beinhocker, a Senior Fellow at the McKinsey Global Institute, and also had some help from Ian Davis, McKinsey’s 10th Managing Director, and Lenny Mendoca, Chair of the McKinsey Global Institute and Director of their San Francisco Office. The authors have defined the trends listed below as accelerating, steady and decelerating. For the record, I feel smarter just having read it.
The Most-Watched Trend in Global Business
What more can you say about brilliant leaders from the planet’s leading strategic management consultancy? As it turns out, not much, covering bases is what these guys do. Here’s what the best of the best think you need to pay attention to:
Natural resources feeling the strain – this trend is “steady.” According to Beinhocker et al, “strategists should plan for a future of resource price increases, volatility and even shortages. Google, for instance, has procured land for server farms near hydroelectric power sources in the Pacific Northwest.” The writers conclude that “resource productivity” will become central to competitiveness in global business.
Globalization under fire – this trend is “decelerating.” Will countries like Canada be able to reconcile their need for international talent with economic and social protectionism? Well, with emerging markets producing a growing share of of the world’s college graduates and the “relentless march of information and communications technology” the answer is “yes.” Knowledge work will be distributed globally. And immigrants will bridge the demographic gap in places like Canada, so these articles tell me.
Trust in business running out – this trend is “accelerating.” No kidding. “Since the recession began, there has been a precipitous decline in trust. The Edelman Trust Barometer found that 62% of adults in 20 countries trusted corporations less in December 2008 than they had a year earlier.” That’s right, folks. There’s an Eldelman Trust Baraometer…
A bigger role for government – this trend is “accelerating.” Arguably, previous crises have resulted in permanent changes in government’s role, and, according to our experts from McKinsey, this one will do the same. Creative partnerships between the public and private sectors will be important in meeting future challenges.
Management as a science – this trend is “steady.” The economic crisis has exposed the limitations of data, computing power and mathematical models as managerial science. Drawing on behavioural economics, becoming more dynamic, and integrating real-world feedback, Beinhocker argues, will see a more realistic vision of human behaviour applied to places like the finance sector. Because – wow - did those guys ever drop the ball. Well, no, not really. They kinda told us they had, like, fifty balls when, really, they had a paper clip and some old bubblegum. Or something like that.
Shifting consumption patterns- basically, the McKinsey team has these tidbits on the changes in the way businesses manipulate the way consume stuff: prepare for slower long-term growth in global consumption, shift your investment to Asia, focus on older consumers, and find ways to offer luxuries on a budget. Hey, CEOs, as it turns out, your corporate jet might actually be cheaper than flying first class!
Will watching out for Global Business help or hinder this unfortunate trend?
Asia rising – this trend is “steady.” This is a great business-language quote: “As Western consumers tighten their belts, expect [powerhouses like Haier, Chery, Tata] and other, less-known players to bring their value-oriented propositions to global markets.”
Industries taking new shape – this trend is “increasing.” All companies and industries might be suffering from the recession, but the crisis gives strong players more opportunities to reshape their competitive environment.
Innovation marching on- this trend is “steady.” Aside from a lot of trimming in the world of R&D, one key example is to be noted: “Apple’s resurgence as a force in consumer technology was fueled by R&D conducted from 2001 to 2003 despite a sharp decline in sales and margins. This bet paid off handsomely, putting the iPod in the pantheon of game-changing innovations born of hard times, alongside Depression-era breakthroughs such as nylons and the jet engine.” I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: entrepreneurs love a downturn.
Price stability in question – this trend is “accelerating.” According to Beinhocker et al, managers around the world will have to question their basic assumption that the developed world provides a stable price environment. Things are going to get interesting…
So there it is. Pretty interesting stuff that can give us all – in one way or another – a more comprehensive perspective on global business, government and human consumption patterns. I think this Harvard Business Review publication is gonna go places.
What about community? We here at The Gumboot, as you know,wholeheartedly embrace ideas from everywhere. We also think that there are a few more global trends that you have to watch. Cooler ones, too. Researchers at The Recent Findings Institute have provided this blog’s editorial board with some data, too. The findings have been listed in a particular order following an exhaustive statistical assessment and managerial matehmatical modeling based on humour, importance, relevance, probability, and awesomeness. Without further ado, here they are:
The Great Divide: Fear Mongering vs. Funny Mongering - this trend is “steady.” Who will win? Jon Stewart or Bill O’Reilly? Rick Mercer or CanWest Global? Stephen Colbert or Glen Beck? The Swine Flu or Rational Thought? Really, this battle has been going on ever since Billy Shakes penned some of the greatest, ripping-good-yarns about cross dressing and mistaken identity. In this ongoing struggle, it used to always be about which side could out-yell and out-spend the other; however, with the rise of the Interscape, hilariously inspired twitbloggers are now competing with the barons of mainstream media. According to this guy, it’s all about coping with the syntheic creation of fear. After all, any good Historian of Humour will tell you that laughter has – ahem - historically been an accurate and common response to fear and tragedy. And nothing oozes human tragedy like Glen Beck and Alex Tsakumis. Who will triumph in the West Coast struggle of positive humour vs. negative personalized attacks on reason and grammar? Only time will tell.
The Alliance Between Pirates and Ninjas – this trend is “decelerating.” Barack Obama’s pledge to halt the rise of piracy combined with backlash following a foiled attempt at world domination by the creator of Real Ultimate Power has marginalized these once prominent symbols of counterculture. Did we even know there was an alliance between ninjas and pirates? Not really. I mean, ninjas, as we know, keep to themselves, and pirates, well, they’ll drink and boast and lie so much that no one really believes anything they say. In any case, what began as a partnership to slander and, eventually, destroy cowboys seems will most likely crumble beyond repair in the coming years.
Community Service - this trend is “accelerating.” Ted Kennedy was a good man. He put forward the bill for the Serve America Act. Over 80% of Canadians do some kind of volunteer work. Dr. Stephen Toope, President of UBC, has mandated that 10% of programming at the university must have a community service learning component by 2012.Yesterday’s “teach English in Japan” is today’s “oversee a micro-financing project in Ghana” – young people from Europe and North America are immersing themselves in the poverty of the developing world and returning home with all sorts of stories and lessons about community. Socialites from priveleged backgrounds are doing it, too! There is a dark side, though, like with the recent funding cuts to Chilliwack’s Time Out program for seniors. The community rallied and volunteers, not paid staff, will now take on the task of spending time outside with the elderly. This is a slippery slope; if people will do jobs for free, other people won’t get paid for them.
Regionalism – this trend is “accelerating.” And not just because of Kurt’s divisive jab against the “Irate Toronto Lobby” over the Coors marketing fiasco. Going beyond our reasons to find food, adventure, business, resources, and everything else will need to be thought about long and hard by many. Prices will rise. And so will heightened ethical, social and environmental awareness. And, no offense to Toronto, but who do we have more in common with: people from The Tdot or folks from Portland, Seattle and Boise? Sam Adams and Gregor Robertson would be a great governing pair for the Republic of Cascadia!
Johnism – this trend is “accelerating.” Despite its few detractors, the general unfairness of the global political system will eventually marginalize people so much that they will look for a new ideology to follow. Any ideology.
Production by the Masses- this trend is “accelerating.” This was Gandhi’s idea. Mass production is unequal and makes a lot of stuff for people in wealthy countries that can afford it. Production by the masses harnesses the priceless resource of “clever brains and skillful hands,” which are possessed by all human beings. This idea suggests that such brains and minds need to be supported with first class tools. For certain, this will empower people from every society on Earth. The rise of social media is a great example of this. The fact that computers can only be purchased by the rich – except in Uruguay, where cheap computers are given out to school children – is an example of how far we have to go.
"Beware my Ingenious Plan to Enslave Humanity"
The Rise of Africa – this trend is “steady.” Long story short, when it comes to dealing with catastrophe, Africa eclipses all other continents. Famine, drought, genocide, germs, war, corruption; you name it, they’ve endured it. If/when things start getting really bad around the world, Africa and its people will be able to roll with hardship a lot better than us. This is purely anecdotal, but I have a hard time believing they’re reacting as catastrophically to the recession, swine flu or possible-Terminator-enslavement as we are.
Tipping Point: Technology and Germs – this trend is “accelerating.” All I know is that we’re going to soon be eviscerated by a combination of flu-ish germs and/or hand held, mobile entertainment devices. I don’t know exactly what it is that will destroy us, but I do know that it’s called The Swinepod.
Robots Causing Trouble for Humans – this trend is “terrifying.” Is anyone watching what’s going on in Japan? It’s like a prequel to I, Robot. All one has to do is Google “Japan robots” to see what these soon-to-be servants of humanity can do. Unfortunately for us, this servitude will undoubtedly turn on its head in the not too distant future.
The Re-Engineering of Time – this trend is “steadily accelerating while it decelerates.” As I listened to a wonderful Organizational Behaviour professor today something struck me with what he said: “the thing in business that we can never have enough of is time.” Simultaneously, some movements around the world are trying to cram 36 hours into a 12 hour day while others want to slow everything down. Regardless of what side you’re on, you probably know that, whether it’s domination of fast-paced-efficiency or burnout-induced-relaxed-lifestyle, only one side of this binary will emerge victorious. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m writing this while riding my bike, talking on my other phone, drinking a chai latte, eating a bagel, and I think I just caused a bit of a traffic snarl…
So there it is. At least 20 trends to watch this year. What’s gonna be the coolest? My money’s on robots aligning with pirates to take on ninjas. Or, man, imagine a ninja robot intergovernmental agency of corporate social responsibility!
This has been a trendy experience. Thanks for your time.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to an ongoing segment here at The Daily Gumboot. It’s called “Get to Know Your Community” and, basically, it goes like this: each and every Sunday we will profile someone from a community somewhere. Each person is asked the same five questions (see below as well as in the “Ideas from Everywhere” page). At the end of the profile, the Gumbooteer (member of this blog’s Editorial Board) who found the person will list their three favourite things about the highlighted community member. Savvy?
Here are some ideas from everywhere. Here is one way that we try to build community. Have fun with it!
My community of happy clients, because they do the marketing work for me.
What is your superpower?
Matching ideas with images.
How do you use it to build community?
Symbolic and design ‘superpowers’ make me a preferred supplier of design. This spreads through various means, and the appreciators-of-good-design community builds.
My three favourite things about Margaret Hanson are…
1. Creativity. If you or your community have a concept, idea or sentence that you want turned into a meaningful design, look no further than Margaret.
2. Wordmaking. It’s hard to describe, but Margaret can use nouns as verbs (and vice-versa) in ways that make your head spin, but work nonetheless; I encourage you to call her and find out for yourself.
3. She made “the boot” on The Daily Gumboot logo. ‘Nuff said. It’s just great.
[Editor's note: Aboard the Editor's Pirate Ship is pretty similar to "from the Editor's desk" or "The Editorial Section" of a "newspaper" (remember those, kids?) - thing is, I spend a lot of my day at a desk, so, when I get to twitblogging, it takes place on a creativity-inducing pirate ship where I can stretch my legs as I expand my mind. To you, dear readers, I say "Welcome Aboard!"]
Ideology just got exclusive, ridiculous and so much cooler!
Militarism. Communism. Conservatism. Fascism. Socialism. Liberalism. Pansexualism. Capitalism. Bullionism. Humanitarianism. Modernism. Post-Modernism. Cannibalism. Existentialism. Hylomorphism. Environmentalism. Idealism. Primitivism. Realism. Terrorism. Zoomorphism. Relativism. There is a long list of ideological isms out there. They all have their strengths and weaknesses. For example, people are very, very delicious. They also control the universe through their sexual energy, but need to be cared for by the State lest their hedonistic ways destroy the environment to the detriment of exponential, free market growth! Or take democracy – democratism – as a great example of a fantastic, but horribly flawed, ideological system. As up-and-coming historical figure Winston Churchill, and his glass of whiskey, pointed out: “It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government, except all the others that have been tried.” Zing, Winnie! In 1835, Alexis de Tocqueville even warned America about “the tyranny of the majority” as a veritable Achilles-heal of our favourite social system. Democracy, claimed de Tocqueville, had the potential to marginalize minorities, fix peoples’ pursuits on material pleasures and/or relax people into seeking “to use government to protect them in their mediocrity by restricting the freedom of any who might challenge or endanger them” (evidently, Iraq didn’t get de Tocqueville’s memo).
Needless to say, whether it’s Vancouver Parks Board Commissioners using taxpayer dollars to pay for rehab or 3 New Jersey mayors (and 5 Rabbis) being arrested on international money-laundering charges or HST and BC Rail – ahem - irregularities or the Shenzhen Construction Bureau spending much of their coffers on massages, foot rubs and other spa treatments or Obama being the re-incarnation of Hitler, well, democracy just doesn’t seem to be working too well these days. Voter turnout around the world is a shadow of its former self. People are cynical and uninspired. But with all the other ideologies being even more terrible than democracy we’re pretty much stuck with what we have, right?
Wrong.
There is an answer. There is a solution. It couldn’t be simpler. And it’s called Johnism.
John in Chinese
Like I said, it’s simple. See, fueled by democracy, the global political system is still built in a way that attracts and enables people who want to be the world’s powerbrokers and reap all the delicious, material, ill-gotten/gettin’ goodies that such power allows. So, we need leaders for our communities – from local to global – but we need a new selection process. Enter Johnism. Recent findings show that there are approximately 942,564,723 people on the planet named “John” (translation and regional dialects were taken into account during this study). So, this up-and-coming ideology isn’t based on status or age or experience or ability or education or qualification or being good at anything. It’s based on having a really common name. A name so common that, when the random, name-based selection of global leadership takes place, we can be sure that the new team in charge are truly drawn from all parts and places of society. Wow – think of how much extra cash we can spread around when credentials do not include the ability to raise $1 billion in campaign funds! People not last-named “Bush” or “Clinton” might be in the running.
The name “John” – after all – transcends all social classes, ethnicity and lines on a map. People named John are everywhere. Check this out:
Terrorism or Johnism? We know where John McClane stands.
…in Germany – Johann or Johannes
…in France – Jean
…in Denmark – Jens
…in Holland – Jan
…in Spain and Latin America – Juan
…in Italy – Giovanni
…in Russia, the Ukraine, Slovenia, Czech Republic, Serbia, and Croatia – Ivan
…in Estonia – Jaan
…in Israel – Yochanan
…in China (see named image)
…in the Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Sudan, Libya, Syria, Morocco, Jordan, and the United Arab Emirates – Yahya
…and, finally, in Armenia – Hovhannes
Clearly, when it comes to ideas from, literally, everywhere, Johnism has Planet Earth covered (I could’ve listed more countries, but my market research has determined that Scandinavia and most of Africa is a veritable lock for this idea). And that’s just the name John today. In the present. Let’s look to the past to get a bit of a sense of some of the more famous and “leadership-capable” Johns throughout history. This cross-section, when taken in an active historicalmanner, allows us to learn from the past as we plan for the future. The historical success of the name “John” logically determines that such success will continue into the future.
In no particular order, here are some Johns (multiple cultures acknowledged) of note:
Political figures, writers, kingmakers, pirates, popes, entertainers, cowboys, revolutionaries, scientists, religious leaders, sex symbols. The name John/Johnny/Jonathan covers ‘em all and then some! Keep in mind this list doesn’t do justice to all the teachers, plumbers, architects, ninjas, fishers, businesspeople, doctors, lawyers, athletes, engineers, and community organizers who have made an impact on humanity but don’t appear on the list. Needless to say, if the past is any indication of the future (and it totally is) I think the world will be in good hands.
Does Kurt Heinrich support Johnism? Probably not, but he's giving a big "thumbs up" here!
So, what are the tenets of Johnism? Well, they’re pretty similar to those of The Daily Gumboot. The ideology’s mandate is to “collect ideas from everywhere and use them to build community.” Other than that, no structure has been hammered out; however, should Johnism get picked up by the people of the planet, the upcoming Summit of John will see the collaborative development of a vision for the future and a strategic plan to carry it out. When it all comes together, I’m confident that you will be impressed. And, hey, people who aren’t Prime Ministers or Mayors or Aldermen or Premiers or Governors or Presidents or Ayatollahs or Dictators for Life or Directors get involved in their communities all the time in organic, contagious and meaningful ways. Just ask Paul Hawken. Like Paul, you folks not named John will totally have a role in the new way of doing things. We’re all part of the same team, after all.
Oh, one other thing. At this point the female readers are probably losing their minds (sorry, mom). Relax, ladies. Johnism is merely a well-thought-out selection process. As part of my very strong belief that women are smarter than men it should also be noted that each John will bring two women to the collaborative, visionary and strategic Summit of John [insert lewd comment here if you so choose]. For example, I will bring Michelle Burtnyk and Naomi Klein [again, insert lewd comment here if you so choose]. Savvy?
I don’t know about you, readers, but I find this all pretty exciting. And, really, what’s the alternative? Should we just exercise our collective voice in demonstrations of mass democracy in an effort to clean up our current social and political systems so they evoke an efficient, egalitarian and productive triple-bottom-line mandate that defines the true ideal of liberated human progress in a way that creates a healthy and happy global community in which we can all thrive? Man, that’s ridiculous!
Billy Shakes once asked, “what’s in a name?” As it turns out, a lot’s in a name. And the name is John. So, Johns, Ivans, Juans, Jeans, and Yahyas of the world: I look forward to working with you soon.
This has been from Aboard the Editor’s Pirate Ship. Thanks for your time.
There are certainly several words to describe the cultural experience that is the 10 year high school reunion: anxious, awkward, vengeance, respect, restitution, empowered, excited, nervous, superawesome, connection, justification, snobbery, aloofness, interesting, “why did I come here?”, shenanigans, friendship, ridiculous, gong-show, and bitchin’.
Some Classy Folks from the Class of '99 with Special Guests
A few weekends ago I threw down such a gauntlet. Nearly 200 graduates from GP Vanier’s class of 1999 – some accompanied by husbands, wives, partners, girlfriends, boyfriends, and wingpeople - descended on the Comox Valley’s Filberg Centre to catch-up, share stories and assess the “success-to-fat-to-bald” ratio of their classmates. For the record, our classy class was, like, 540 people who’s graduating slogan was, I kid you not, “the best there was, the best there is, the best there ever will be.” Democracy, not unlike the WWF, ruled at our school. We were also a talented group of kids, it’s true. And, to this day, pro-wrestling fans are still one of the most powerful lobby groups in North America.
Moving on…
Here is some context and a pre-reunion backstory. After a heated argument with my father about my “post-modern” approach to wood stacking, I left home at the age of 18 and hooked up with a group of Chinese pirates heading for Singapore. After a few years at sea followed by a brief stint attending some of Eastern Canada’s more decorated bastions of higher education – and Bishop’s University – I basically lost touch with all but a few people from my graduating class. In high school, well, I wasn’t overly picked on, but wasn’t overly invited to parties, either. Sports, school and student journalism kept me busy and edutained, but by no means was high school a “top 10 life experience” in The Journey of John to this day [Editor's Note: if high school is in your top three life experiences, I recommend you speak to one of South America's leading Life Coaches, Martin Renauld]; or take up a non-vice-related hobby, any hobby, really].
Two of the Evening's Best Conversationalists
Needless to say, I was eager to arrive at the reunion and re-connect with as many people as possible. Being lucky enough to have a witty, kind and gorgeous fiancee on my arm was certainly a confidence booster, as was my sporting a pretty decent “success-to-fat-to-bald” ratio. It was time for the The Reunion Experience to begin!
SFU Business Professor Ginger Grant encourages people to “find their tribe” in the world of work as in life. Well, Class of ’99 grads, many of us did just that on reunion night. The tables of people and circles of conversation maintained the cliquish structure of our high school days, which is expected, I guess – I mean, why would you want to rediscover doucheyness from decades-passed? Thing is, people change. Speaking of change, as the drinks flowed like, well, drinks, people left the safety of their tables and ventured out into a delightful fray of messiness, mustaches, mingling, and machismo. Man, even some of the cool girls talked to the people they looked right through 10 years ago! Plato would’ve been proud, as the modestly priced and modestly mixed drinks allowed us to “enjoy each others’ company and chiefly refresh [ourselves] with learned discussion.” Believe it or not, there was a heck of intellectualism, social leveling and man-on-man bum pinching at the Class of ’99 Reunion, which had a little to do with alcohol, sure, but more to do with, as co-Valedictorian Ian Cullen put it, us being a “a pretty cool and down-to-Earth group of people.” For the record, this is the eleventh time Mr. Cullen has been quoted in juxtaposition to Plato.
Food and drink. Check! Cool people. Check! Interesting and, hopefully, amazing stories. Well, read on, my friends.
Here are the five best stories and/or things about the Class of 99 Reunion:
1. Bob Atwood Invented Facebook. At least that’s the word on the street; but it will be hard for Bob to have a voice or presence within this 250 million member medium because, understanably enough, he doesn’t use Facebook. If anyone wants to start a “Bob Atwood Invented Facebook” group, well, I’m sure it would catch fire like Athens and our friend would greatly appreciate the irony. Mark Zuckerberg, beware, as you have some of the stingiest legal minds from Vancouver Island coming your way!
2. “Maybe all the people losing their hair stayed home.” This was said as an observation of the fact that everyone at the reunion, pretty much, still had amazing hair. I’d put our grad class (with significant others included) against any other in a purely superficial, old fashioned lookin’ good contest any day of the week.
3. The unique stories and conversations made things perpetually interesting. Now, I go to a lot of networking events around Vancouver, and it’s never fun having to give the same canned answer over and over and over. The Class of ’99 Reunion had no such repetition and people generally avoided long-winded diatribes about material things, sexual conquests or their complicated route to and from work. Thanks for the freshness, y’all.
It wouldn't be a GP Vanier Formal without baseball caps
4. Confederate Flags. I know. This is a weird one. But anyone who went to my high school will tell you that, well, confederate flags – on shirts as well as immense pickup trucks – were a badge of Redneck honour at GP Vanier Secondary School. Just as there was chewing tobacco spit in the drinking fountain or and a need to be sure the emergency break was engaged so your car didn’t get pushed in the ditch surrounding the student parking lot, there were pictorial allusions to the South rising again. Fortunately enough, it seemed that only one attendee – a kindhearted and very friendly young iron worker - still does not fully grasp the contentious power of said symbolic decoration, but, hey, neither did the Duke Boys, right?!
5. Unpretentiousness. What better place than a high school reunion to talk about how great you’ve become? During my navigation of the reunion, however, I found no such pretentions creating one-sided conversations amongst graduates. And there were some very cool people doing very cool things. But, man, we’re from Courtenay – no point taking ourselves too seriously.
So, do you have a high school or university reunion coming up in the weeks, months or years ahead? Are you, like many of the people at my reunion were, anxious or nervous about the event? Well, here are five simple tips on how to note just survive, but thrive at your reunion:
1. Be Yourself. “If you’ve gotta think about being cool, you ain’t cool.” Well said, Johnny Depp and Keith Richards – arguably a couple of very cool characters. If you are a little trepidatious about being yourself, well, maybe be a pirate…
2. If you want to be someone else, have an Amazing Story. To quote a young George Costanza, “it’s not a lie if you believe it.” Too concerned about being cool to actually be cool? Well, there’s an answer for that, too. Make stuff up! Just know that if you want to hit the reunion with tales of exotic foreign intrigue, business cards that say “Existential Detective” or a story of how you’re Charlize Theron’s body-double, make sure that you’ve got enough yarn in your pocket to spin for awhile. Ideally, your story should be able to survive three probing follow-up questions before it crumbles apart. Consider creating some online content (blog, Facebook, LinkedIn, etc.) before arriving, too – you know, just to create a bit of a buzz.
3. Bring a Well-Prepared Wingperson. A little nervous about facing former foes? Well, find an outgoing, superfun and risk-taking friend to boost your personal brand might be a good idea. Get creative, too. Maybe your friend “Tom” from “Ninja School” is also a Mathematician or a Doctor. And you can always flip it around, too. Have a friend show up completely unattached to you. And then get said friend to act like an obnoxious creep. And then be sure that you – The Reunion Hero – are the one who defuses a potentially dangerous situation. There are 1001 recipes for characters and scenarios, people. Go with what works for you.
4. Ask Good Questions. As the age-old piece of relationship-building advice goes: “be more interested than interesting.” Would you rather know what someone does for work or learn about what they do for fun, their search for inner peace and/or strategy for global domination? Interesting questions are easy to find, because, really, how many times can you ask “hey, remember that time we got so wasted?” at a reunion.
5. Unpretentiousness. “You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else.” Well, Tyler Durden might use pure hyperbole, but you get the idea. I think you’re special, don’t worry; but the person you’re talking to…they’re more special.
And so the Chronicles of the GP Vanier Class of ’99 Reunion conludeth. Thanks again to the organizing team and all the supercool people who made the evening as memorable as that kick-ass party at The Lake that time. I wish anyone attending their high school reunion – or a reunion of any kind – the best of luck and hope that happiness weaves its way into your experience. If you remember one thing from what happened about, remember to have fun with it. We did!
