Should children get to vote?

Elections constitute an essential part of democracy, however it is not limited to voting once in a while. A democratic system is based on the idea of “polis”, i.e. a community in which every citizen must participate in debates and discussions to decide the faith of the group. It is common knowledge that voter turnout is on a downward slop, especially amongst young adults. For the 2008 federal elections, 58% of registered voters bothered to vote, less than 40% for people under 25. In my opinion, the fact that millions of Canadians chose not to vote is probably a consequence of the weakening of the second element of democracy: a culture of debate. Many radical solutions or simple adjustments have been proposed in the last few decades to face this democratic and participation crisis: incorporate a proportional representation element into the system, make voting mandatory (as many countries do) or making election days national holidays. We have not tried any of these so far to reverse this sad trend; even if I thought Jean Chrétien leaving politics would help… it did not.

Reiko Aokim, a Japanese professor, proposes to modify an important democratic tradition: voting age. Should we lower it to 16 o raise it to 21? Nope, we should simply abolish it, giving a vote to all citizens, starting day one – note to pro-life activists, fetus would not get that right-. So, 7 years old Tommy should be able to vote for the coolest politician or the brightest color party? In practice, parents would bear the responsibility to vote in name of their children. It seems logical to oblige adolescents (starting at 14 years old) to be present for a vote to count. To avoid disputes between divorced parents or conservative/NPD couples, father would vote for boys and mothers for girls.

This idea is based on two main arguments: education to democratic life and intergenerational equity. As mentioned earlier, the issue goes further than voter turnout, it touches our democratic culture as a whole. Giving a vote to every single Canadian could contribute to fomenting interest in electoral politics but also in political discussions in a larger sense. On one side, adolescents would have an incentive to ask, get informed knowing that someone (their father or mother) can cast an extra vote. On the other, parents would probably feel more responsible for their children’s votes than theirs, giving them an extra motivation to go vote and to engage discussions with their adolescents about political issues.Image from the "Kids Voting" american program

The other justification possesses a more philosophical twist. In a demographic context of aging population, youth interests or simple long term preoccupations are “doomed” to come second. Older citizens tend to be more preoccupied by security and heath care, while younger people by education and environmental issues. On the long run, children will have to face the implications of today’s political decisions. Furthermore, most of us would agree that both education and the environment are far from being federal or provincial priorities. We can probably assume that a majority of parents would take in consideration their children’s future when it comes to vote. Abolishing voting age could therefore contribute to increase the importance of long term political and social issues, by taking into account children’s interest.

18 is clearly an arbitrary number. By no means reaching 18 signifies that one knows anything about politics, just like at 16 someone can be well informed and ready to make an intelligent choice. As a personal experience, I remember with great details the 1995 Quebec referendum, in which I could not vote (I was 15 at the time). I was not happy about the whole “you’re too young to vote” thing. My grandmother, who was full of wisdom thought I had more to gain or lose than her. She offered to vote in my name, so she ended up being the only one at her retirement home to vote yes (please keep reading anyway… complaints about hosting a separatist on the blog can be addressed to the editors). Voting by in name of children does not mean that they would actual get to chose, however, in large part their interest will be taken into account and as they grown up, adolescent will be gradually introduced in democratic life.

Obviously, there is no guarantee that parents would consider their children’s opinion or interest, as my grandmother did or that parents would have a greater interest in politics because of this modification. Nonetheless, in theory this idea seems to offer positive inputs and should be debated. One thing is certain, something has to be done to foment our modern “polis”, since our democratic life is in bad shape.

The Second Best and Worst Jobs Ever

Holy crap we’re almost done the series! Through Pirates and Message Runners, University Professors and Fox News Fact-Checkers, and Singers and Searchers of the Dead we have explored myriad kinds of work and how these historical jobs impact communities. Sort of. Other times we rambled about tenure and the coming Plague. Sorry about that. On to the next two jobs!

Best. Job. Ever. Number 2!

A Person Who is Born into Wealth & Title could be a King, Queen, Sultan, Baron, Emperor, Chief, Landed Aristocracy, or a trust fund baby from Connecticut. For over a thousand years you’ve just flat-out been better than everybody else and, depending on the century, you have represented one – or  several – deities here on planet Earth (thanks for that, by the way). Be it nation or fiefdom or Galactic Empire you are the final word on the economy, religion, the environment, human rights, and how many servants you can ethically sleep in one bunkbed. And all you had to do to get here is be yourself!

Summary of Academically Sound Findings and Analysis:

PERSON BORN INTO WEALTH & TITLE

LOW

MEDIUM

HIGH

TOTAL:

Level of Hardship If hardship is deciding which food to throw away  or weave even more gold into your clothing then your life is hard!

In the past, you have also used people as footstools, sacrificed virgins, and started your own church.

From time to time there are peasant uprisings, pesky Bolsheviks, Maoists, or Cromwellians who try to spoil your pageant. Just all in a day’s work. 5/5
Opportunity for Advancement You can’t really get much higher than King, right? Advancement can mean taking over another Kingdom, which means raising taxes, putting pikes into your serfs’ hands and sending ‘em into battle with hopes of achieving more land and title. 4/5
Meaningful Nature of Work Sooner or later, ribbon-cutting and holding hands with American Presidents who want your oil must get a little boring. Back in the day (or in Saudi Arabia right now) you derive meaning by weilding exceptional power. 4/5

Worst. Job. Ever. Number 2!

As a Politician, you have chosen to pursue a career in an ongoing righteous popularity contest that brings out the worst in people. From towns to nation-states, from the French Revolution until the 2012 Palin-Trump ticket, politicians have dug up dirt, slung muck, filibustered decent bills, perpetuated planet pillaging, and been Rob Ford. Recent findings show that most of them have nightmares about their work and that they aren’t always sincere in their promises. To quote Sir Winston Churchill: “It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.” And the politicians make this worst form of government work…for…us…

Summary of Academically Sound Findings and Analysis:

POLITICIAN

LOW

MEDIUM

HIGH

TOTAL:

Level of Hardship Your entire working existence is one big peasant uprising!

People are skeptical of you and your values  when you start your career and downright hate your guts when you finish it. In between, you are raked through muck by your colleagues, misinterpreted in soundbites and probably get caught breaking the law.

This being said, the kickbacks are pretty sweet.

1/5
Opportunity for Advancement Your belief in democracy advancing merit, not legacy or title, is contradicted by your knowledge that money talks and Canada only has, like, eleven female MPs.

It’s still about who you know and playing the game.

2/5
Meaningful Nature of Work Self-interest (of yourself and your political party) defines your work. Being re-elected is, therefore, more important than passing career-crippling, yet world-saving, climate change legislation. From time to time you fight tyranny, deliver social justice, innovate, and/or appear on The Daily Show. These  meaningful achievements are few and far between, though. 2/5

Reflections on these Jobs

GODFREY: We will see in the next installment how slavery and the freedom to explore bring out the stark differences in two dramatically “professions”. When it comes to politicians, they don’t break with their historical antecedents. Being a politician can often seem like the historical evolution of absolute power, just by a different name. While the Obamas, Sarkozy’s and Suharto’s don’t rule by divine right, but rather the ballot box, let’s face – it their power is still largely absolute. They also still l live in palaces….I’m just saying….

JOHN: These jobs deserve each other. And, somehow, even though they’re different they really seem really similar. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – mostly because it really annoys Kurt – but Johnism is the only answer to the problems presented by these two examples of the bankrupt and broken way our world is governed. Or isn’t.

Pirate Communities: Business and Governance

Blackbeard knew branding: I think we get the message, yes?

[Editor's note: Sunday, September 19 is International Talk Like a Pirate Day...I'm just saying.]

Last week two dear friends sent me two different articles about pirate prominence. The first was from Gumbooteer, Stewart Burgess (his pen name is s||A), and it discusses the rise of pirates-as-kingmakers in Somalia. The second article was sent to me by Director of UBC Career Services, Howie Outerbridge – actually, he sent it to my boss and apologized for encouraging me; the article that Howie sent, after all, was entitled “What Business Executives Can Learn From Pirates.” It’s always nice when my senseless rants about pirate communities being benchmarks for progressive ideologies are affirmed by those smarter and better looking than myself.

To summarize, pirates are leaders in governance and business. Here’s why…

Business + Pirates = Awesome

According to, well, me, pirate ships have historically been bastions of democratic principles, where the

interests of many were, naturally, aligned with the overall goals of the organization. Fazil Mihlar’s recent article in up-and-coming “newspaper,” the Vancouver Sun acknowledges what Kurt Heinrich has known since we began chatting about pirates: “since the pirate crew (shareholders/ employees) collectively owned the ship, they had to keep the captain (CEO/management) in check.” Mihlar – with Peter Leeson’s popular Invisible Hook: The Hidden Economics of Pirates as his muse – smartly delves into health care (in addition to democracy, pirate ships were also the first place to see health care benefits and compensation practiced) and corporate branding.

“Awesome” + Community = Governance?

NEWS FLASH: Somalia is in turmoil! The American-backed central government is on the ropes, with a few different warlords vying for power and an Al Queda supported Shabab militant group close to toppling the regime. Jeffrey Gettleman’s article points out the unfortunate situation of Somalia’s government: “Squished between the two, we have to become friends with the pirates,” Mr. Noor said. “Actually, this is a great

Seriously, this is an alleged picture of Mohamed Garfanji

opportunity.” There sure is a great opportunity: for the pirates to take both sides! After all, the most nefarious dude in the Gulf of Aden, Mohamed Garfanji, isn’t you’re typical pirate.  Remember the name, as his clever consolidation of power by creating a grassroots following of local (the community in the pirate enclave of Hobyo), regional (coastal communities pissed off at international fishers and polluters that have decimated Somalia’s coastline) and national (a central government that is teetering on the brink of destruction and needs people-power, firepower and cash) might just see the purple-rain-coated buccaneer become the next leader of Somalia. Like Mitch Albom says, “build a little community of those you love and who love you.” And then give that community millions of dollars and anti-aircraft guns and try your hand at governance in the worst place on Earth!

So, whether you’re teaching Business 101 or planning Phase 3 of your Tea Party Revolution, remember that you can always learn from Pirate Communities!

- JCH

Your Digital Fill – Ironic Icelandic Democracy

Dear Kurt Heinrich,

I know that you’re not Johnisms biggest fan. Fair enough. As someone not named John, you will be irrelevant and, probably, disappeared when the revolution comes. Speaking of “the revolution,” Johnism – actually, Jonism – just won a pretty hilarious victory on the Icelandic front (fun fact: the Icelandic front is one of the most important fronts in the Johnism revolution).

Kurt, even you must appreciate the politicking that must have had to happen in order for this fantastically grassroots story to unfold. So that you can appreciate democracy inaction, here’s a video for your review:



And, well, this guy is the new Mayor of Reykjavik, where two-thirds of Icelandic people live. Amazing. Go Jo(h)nism!

Have a good one, Kurt. And, hey, people named John will always be looking for helpful supporters a few years (or weeks) from now.

Your pal always (or until the revolution),

- John…ism

Guest Spot – Martin Martin Renauld

Ideas from everywhere. That’s our motto here at The Daily Gumboot. Sometimes, we even take ideas from Quebecois scholars living in Buenos Aires, Argentina who have informed, creative and interesting opinions about the political happenings in Uruguay. Some might say this blog is too “generalist” or “without a niche focus” or “not specialized” – well, cynics, I introduce to you Martin Renauld, The DG’s Uruguayan Political Affairs Correspondent. It doesn’t come more specific than this, kids!

Welcome to Uruguay - population: democracy!

Welcome to Uruguay - population: democracy!

Even though I agree with most people that politics is often superficial, blindly partisan and offers look-alike choices, I am still deeply convinced it represents the best mean to achieve social change, including the focus of this blog: community building. Public policies can create favorable contexts for healthy communities to emerge or just the opposite, as we have seen in the last decades. Transport, education, cultural life, social programs and economic development are direct determinants for communities’ well-being.

For quite some time, Canadians have been disabused with the electoral process and political life in general. The ridiculously low participation rate of the last federal elections makes no doubt about it: 59% of register voters. Without trying to explain this sad statistics, let’s just say that our outdated parliamentary system, a generational shift away from political activism and the professionalization of politics could have played a role in this.

This brings me to talk about a small Latin American country I care a lot about. I visited my family in law in Uruguay last weekend (October 24-25), so that my Uruguayan girlfriend could vote in the first round of the presidential election. Unfortunately, the Frente Amplio (a coalition of left wing party headed by a former guerrillero) fell short by 1,8% of the necessary 50% to win the presidency in the first round. The final vote will be held on November 29th. This party has been in power since 2004 and has put forward many initiatives to fight poverty, improve public education, public health care and defend minorities’ rights.

Uruguayan elections offer a great example of a vivid democracy, where people still perceive elections and political implication as the most efficient strategy to bring about change. For Uruguayans, elections represent both a patriotic duty and a huge celebration. In a country where an important minority lives in precarious conditions, more than 90% of registered voters showed up at the polls. A short walk in any of Montevideo’s neighborhoods will convince anyone how much they care about their elections. Everywhere you can see party flags, political signs, improvised manifestations and even more important, people talking about politics, often in a very passionate way… As a Quebecois, it reminded me of the fervent atmosphere of the 1995 referendum. The next section presents a non-exhaustive list of what I consider to be some factors contributing to making Uruguayan elections so successful.

  1. Voting is mandatory In case of not complying with one’s civic duty,
    Ex-guerrilla, Jose Mujica might be heading into a run-off election in a month

    Ex-guerrilla, Jose Mujica might be heading into a run-off election in a month

    the consequences are minors (a small fine and a few bad looks), however, it does send a strong message about the importance of elections.

  2. Elections are held on Sundays Enough with excuses such as I’ve worked all day, I’m tired or Doctor Phil is on. Go vote, you have nothing else to do.
  3. Prohibition is back for 24 hours What? I can’t party and vote on the same day? Negative, bars and clubs are closed the previous Saturday until voting is over, so that everybody wakes up well and sound. Even though that law was originally passed to avoid violent confrontations between drunken men too passionate about politics, it still has a positive impact today.
  4. A political system based on real representation Without entering in a deep analysis of the electoral system, let’s just say that it leaves some room for small parties and political diversity. The latter is very present inside the different parties. Basically, each vote goes to a list of deputies and senators associated with one presidential candidate. Therefore, two electors can vote for the same presidential candidate, but for different legislators.
  5. A united left Thanks to the electoral system, the multitude of left wing parties (from hard-core Marxists to very moderate Social Democrats) forms the FrenteAmplio. Basically, they accept their differences while recognizing the necessity for compromise to build a real political force. The party presents one presidential candidate, but many different lists. Even if it does engender very intense debates, sometimes too intense, it has the virtue of offering manyas Prime Minister, but for MPs of the Bloc, the Green Party or even the Marijuana Party? Or any other combination you would like to see. Not to the same extent, but a similar diversity also exists within both traditional parties (PartidoNacional and Partido Colorado).

These 5 points strike me as positive characteristics that could inspire us to improve our Canadian democracy. Furthermore, Uruguayans’ passion and involvement in politics is a great reminder that popular participation is an indispensable component of any democratic system. Even if Canadians seem to have forgotten it, politics is the best way to make change happen. Hopefully, we can learn something from Uruguay and reverse this trend of political disinterest, low participation and empty debates. Revalorising elections is the first step toward building a strong democracy, essential for social change, both global and local.

- Martin Renauld

Aboard the Editor’s Pirate Ship – Learning from Pirate Communities

Welcome to Learning from Pirate Communities, one of the best-selling series here at The Daily Gumboot. Here’s the deal: we participants in humanity operate within a paradigm or framework or clusterf&$k of themes and ideas (gender, race and culture, environmental stewardship, ideology, weapons, business, entrepreneurship, art, tasty drinks, and fashion). Many people from many academic disciplines explore such themes from a myriad of perspectives. The Editor-in-Chief of this publication discusses such ideas through a lens of Piratology, because, hey, pirates represent an edutaining and approachable subject that interests people. Consequently, we can learn a lot from pirates. Just read more to find out!

Will clever commentary be backed up by accountable piracy?

Will clever commentary be backed up by accountable piracy?

Today we will be discussing tax, representation and rejecting an unfair socioeconomic system to, possibly, become a pirate.

I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that you’ve heard about the HST. Maybe you even have an opinion about it. From Bill Tieleman to Bill Vander Zalm to Kurt Heinrich to Kevin Milligan, people have opinions that run the gamut of sensation; from raging social injustice to practically good policy. Whether you despise taxes altogether or just hate this one, I have a solution for you. Become a pirate! Literally, if you like (I’ll get to that), but metaphorically is probably a better solution for all of us (at least until the puffy shirt factory starts pumping things out a little faster). Here’s the deal: many people feel unrepresented by the HST, just like many people feel unrepresented or cheated by the GST, income taxes, the Carbon Tax, exorbitantly priced Canucks tickets, lack of affordable housing, police, universities, Walmart, Translink, and talent agencies (honestly, I think you’re a great singer and were treated unfairly). We’re really good at complaining, but not as good at being accountable for our ideas – ideas like collectively changing and/or withdrawing from an unfair, broken, corrupt, and imbalanced system that seems to encourage and reward corruption, incompetence and general shady shenanigans. We can do better if we learn from pirate communities.Even the University of Chicago recognizes the power of pirates as educational tools!

People, our community is thoroughly more positive, intelligent and cohesive than this rather unequal, unrepresentative and restrictive paradigm of governance allows. Perhaps we can do better by rejecting the system and embracing our inner entrepreneur – or inner pirate. I understand if this scares you. But there are certainly models for change out there, too. First, let’s explore taxation and democracy in a historical and global context and then examine community and unfair political decisions from a piratical perspective:

Mad at being unrepresented? Maybe we should actually be a democracy.

A recent article in The Independent by Johann Hari suggests that modern

Embrace your inner entrepreneur and start asking questions about the system to which you belong.

Embrace your inner entrepreneur and start asking questions about the system to which you belong.

day pirates, like their historic brothers and sisters, have rejected today’s unequal, corrupt and punishing global “system.” Hari cites the last words of William Scott, a pirate hanged in Charleston, South Carolina during the Golden Age of Piracy: “What I did was to keep me from perishing. I was forced to go a-pirateing to live.” BC’s democracy makes me chuckle. Heck, our perception of democracy makes me chuckle. Democratically speaking, most of us don’t usually vote for the party in power (ie. the NDP in the 1990s – never more than 45% of the vote – and the current BC Liberal government – 46% of the vote – and Federal Conservative – 37% of the vote – government were brought to power with less than half of the popular vote, which doesn’t even account for the tens of thousands of people who didn’t vote because of their dissatisfaction with the system and the people steering it).

One hundred years before the French Revolution, pirate ships – or pirate companies – were run on the ideals of liberty, equality and brotherhood. It was the rule, rather than the exception. According to scholar and fellow Piratologist, David Cordingly, author of Under the Black Flag: The Romance and Reality of Life Among the Pirates, at times, it was difficult to even get a pirate ship going anywhere. You see, the crew actually voted on a destination before the captain set a course; arguably, this accounted for pirates’ time being spent in warm places like the Caribbean, Gulf of Aden and the Strait of Malacca. This whole time, we’ve been looking to France and the US for our democratic models, when we really should’ve been looking towards pirate ships!

Pirates drafted and signed “The Articles of Piracy” before each voyage. These  articles regulated the distribution of plunder, the scale of compensation for injuries in battle, and outlined basic rules for shipboard life (ie. no one is allowed to drink all the rum and/or wear the captain’s eye patch in jest) as well as punishments for those who broke the rules (ie. you wore the eye-patch in jest and now the captain, who turned out to be pretty sensitive, won’t come out of his cabin and, well, he’s got the map). After the articles were written, every pirate aboard signed them. Sure, it’d be tedious, but perhaps we need to re-draft our terms of agreement with our leaders before each election or major decision that affects so many stakeholders.

The Articles seem pretty darn democratic, and I wonder what we can take from these lessons on a pirate ship and apply to our system. After all, the crew aboard the Jolly British Columbian seems to be talking about steering the ship in a new direction with recent movements against the HST.

Seriously, we’re crying about the HST?

When things go bad here on the West Coast of Canada, I like to put them in a global perspective. How bad are they, really? From the BBC to CNN to Al Jazeera, the world suddenly became very interested in Somali pirates after they hijacked a Saudi tanker, the Sirius Star. They did what nobody thought possible and they got noticed. Like, really noticed. Oh, and they made $3 million from the ransom, too.  Sure, many – or most – of the pirates are gangsters. No, this doesn’t make hostage-taking okay and, no, this blog does not condone hostage taking (although, for the record, Theo Lamb is a fully trained hostage negotiator). But this article has outlined some of the ways that these seagoing thugs are dealing with a recessive global economy. “Pirates were the first people to rebel against this world,” says Hari. They didn’t like the rigour, restrictions and “oppressiveness” of the seafaring alternatives of, say, the Merchant Marine or Royal Navy, so they chose a more independent, democratic and risky life at sea.”

In his article, Hari examines the circumstances by which many Somali fishermen have been thrust into the world of piracy. After the fall of the country’s government in

Somali pirates or the Somali Coast Guard? You decide!

Somali pirates or the Somali Coast Guard? You decide!

1991, Africa’s longest coastline (Somalia’s coast spans about 2,000 miles) has been unprotected. This power-vacuum has provided a perfect opportunity for the international fishing industry to steal Somalia’s food supply and use the region as a dumping ground for nuclear waste (“yes: nuclear waste,” says Hari – cadmium and mercury were also, allegedly, thrown in the mix). Hari interviewed Ahmedou Ould-Abdallah, the UN envoy to Somalia, who claims that “there has been no clean-up, no compensation, and no prevention” of such a gross example of pollution. But one can also see how market forces have driven them to think outside the box, get creative, take risks, and work together in innovative ways in a new, community-based entrepreneurial system that exists beyond the one the world helped break.

In a recent Time magazine article, Ishaan Thardoor argues that “Somali piracy has metastasized into the country’s only boom industry. Most of the pirates, observers say, are not former fishermen, but just poor folk seeking their fortune. Right now, they hold 18 cargo ships and some 300 sailors hostage — the work of a sophisticated and well-funded operation.”Recent findings show that in excess of $300 million US in shellfish is being stolen from the Somali coast by illegal trawlers each year. They have no government to speak of. Organizations are dumping nuclear waste in their waters and on their land. Somalia just might be the worst place on Earth. Kinda puts the global recession and BC’s tax-shift  in perspective, eh? They don’t “fit” in the current economic system, which is probably why the independent Somalian news site, WardheerNews, found that 70 per cent of Somalians “strongly supported the piracy as a form of national defence.” Some even call them the “Volunteer Coastguard of Somalia”! And we can most certainly call them rejectors of an unfair system swirling in chaos.

Notice the clothes and "things" coming out of the character's pockets. Not everyone on Earth has things.

Well, this doesn't seem fair at all!

But, um, yeah. The HST is tough, too. After all, a study released by the Recent Findings Institute reported that the HST is “oppressive” and a “betrayal” of the BC people mostly because of the amount of nuclear waste in it.

Now. Obviously a good binary opposition can make any argument look ridiculous by putting it next to, well, something ridiculous. In any case, if you do in fact believe that, in the context of all things British Columbia, the HST is grossly unfair and a violation of our democracy, perhaps you might consider breaking from the system to which you are very connected. Find some friends. Find a boat. And change your life. Maybe start small, you know, by taking your illegal downloading of music one step further: download a movie or some software and then some tv shows and then, when you’re ready, overtake a ship by force and pillage its contents! BC has a lot of water, you know. Or perhaps you’d like to explore the ways in which your community (local, regional, online, or otherwise) can be used as a vehicle for positive social change within this HST-laden system of ours. Whatever the case, I encourage you to be a democratic, creative and entrepreneurial pirate. If things in BC are really so bad, there are some great historical and contemporary models of fighting injustice to explore, such as the inclusive and democratic experience aboard a pirate ship. Whatever direction you choose, be sure to exercise collaboration, safety and aim to have your community’s best interests in mind; sure, such ideas might seem matter-o-fact, but – every now and then – it doesn’t happen.

So there it is. Yaaarrrrrrrrrghhhhhh welcome!

- Sir John the Pirate Piratologist

Aboard the Editor’s Pirate Ship – Johnism

[Editor's note: Aboard the Editor's Pirate Ship is pretty similar to "from the Editor's desk" or "The Editorial Section" of a "newspaper" (remember those, kids?) - thing is, I spend a lot of my day at a desk, so, when I get to twitblogging, it takes place on a creativity-inducing pirate ship where I can stretch my legs as I expand my mind. To you, dear readers, I say "Welcome Aboard!"]

Ideology just got exclusive, ridiculous and so much cooler!

Ideology just got exclusive, ridiculous and so much cooler!

Militarism. Communism. Conservatism. Fascism. Socialism. Liberalism. Pansexualism. Capitalism. Bullionism. Humanitarianism. Modernism. Post-Modernism. Cannibalism. Existentialism. Hylomorphism. Environmentalism. Idealism. Primitivism. Realism. Terrorism. Zoomorphism. Relativism. There is a long list of ideological isms out there. They all have their strengths and weaknesses. For example, people are very, very delicious. They also control the universe through their sexual energy, but need to be cared for by the State lest their hedonistic ways destroy the environment to the detriment of exponential, free market growth! Or take democracy – democratism – as a great example of a fantastic, but horribly flawed, ideological system. As up-and-coming historical figure Winston Churchill, and his glass of whiskey, pointed out: “It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government, except all the others that have been tried.” Zing, Winnie! In 1835, Alexis de Tocqueville even warned America about “the tyranny of the majority” as a veritable Achilles-heal of our favourite social system. Democracy, claimed de Tocqueville, had the potential to marginalize minorities, fix peoples’ pursuits on material pleasures and/or relax people into seeking “to use government to protect them in their mediocrity by restricting the freedom of any who might challenge or endanger them” (evidently, Iraq didn’t get de Tocqueville’s memo).

Needless to say, whether it’s Vancouver Parks Board Commissioners using taxpayer dollars to pay for rehab or 3 New Jersey mayors (and 5 Rabbis) being arrested on international money-laundering charges or HST and BC Railahem - irregularities or the Shenzhen Construction Bureau spending much of their coffers on massages, foot rubs and other spa treatments or Obama being the re-incarnation of Hitler, well, democracy  just doesn’t seem to be working too well these days. Voter turnout around the world is a shadow of its former self. People are cynical and uninspired. But with all the other ideologies being even more terrible than democracy we’re pretty much stuck with what we have, right?

Wrong.

There is an answer. There is a solution. It couldn’t be simpler. And it’s called Johnism.

John in Chinese

John in Chinese

Like I said, it’s simple. See, fueled by democracy, the global political system is still built in a way that attracts and enables people who want to be the world’s powerbrokers and reap all the delicious, material, ill-gotten/gettin’ goodies that such power allows. So, we need leaders for our communities – from local to global – but we need a new selection process. Enter Johnism. Recent findings show that there are approximately 942,564,723 people on the planet named “John” (translation and regional dialects were taken into account during this study). So, this up-and-coming ideology isn’t based on status or age or experience or ability or education or qualification or being good at anything. It’s based on having a really common name. A name so common that, when the random, name-based selection of global leadership takes place, we can be sure that the new team in charge are truly drawn from all parts and places of society. Wow – think of how much extra cash we can spread around when credentials do not include the ability to raise $1 billion in campaign funds! People not last-named “Bush” or “Clinton” might be in the running.

The name “John” – after all – transcends all social classes, ethnicity and lines on a map. People named John are everywhere. Check this out:

Terrorism or Johnism? We know where John McClane stands.

Terrorism or Johnism? We know where John McClane stands.

…in Germany – Johann or Johannes

…in France – Jean

…in Denmark – Jens

…in Holland – Jan

…in Spain and Latin America – Juan

…in Italy – Giovanni

…in Russia, the Ukraine, Slovenia, Czech Republic, Serbia, and Croatia – Ivan

…in Estonia – Jaan

…in Israel – Yochanan

…in China (see named image)

…in the Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Sudan, Libya, Syria, Morocco, Jordan, and the United Arab Emirates – Yahya

…and, finally, in Armenia – Hovhannes

Clearly, when it comes to ideas from, literally, everywhere, Johnism has Planet Earth covered (I could’ve listed more countries, but my market research has determined that Scandinavia and most of Africa is a veritable lock for this idea). And that’s just the name John today. In the present. Let’s look to the past to get a bit of a sense of some of the more famous and “leadership-capable” Johns throughout history. This cross-section, when taken in an active historical manner, allows us to learn from the past as we plan for the future. The historical success of the name “John” logically determines that such success will continue into the future.

In no particular order, here are some Johns (multiple cultures acknowledged) of note:

Adams, John | Adams, John Quincy | Appleseed, Johnny | Ashcroft, John | Belushi, John | Bolton, John | Booth, John Wilkes | Brown, John | Cabot, John | Audubon, John J. | Goethe, Johann Wolfgang von | Gutenberg, Johannes | Peron, Juan | Swift, Jonathan | Yahya Khan | Yahya Jammeh | Swammerdam, Jan | Vermeer, Jan | Rousseau, Jean-Jacques | Favreau, Jon | Gosselin, Jon | Heder, Jon | Stewart, Jon | Carson, Johnny | Cash, Johnny | Depp, Johnny | Hart, Johnny | Horton, Johnny | Knoxville, Johnny | Unitas, Johnny | Cochran, Johnnie | Frakes, Jonathan | Franzen, Jonathan | Lethem, Jonathan | Rhys-Meyers, Jonathan | Calvin, John | Chretien, Jean | Kerouac, Jack | Nidetch, Jean | Piaget, Jean | Cage, John | Calhoun, John C. | Calvin, John | Candy, John | Cleese, John | Coltrane, John | Coolidge, Calvin | Cusack, John | Dalton, John | Daly, John | DeLorean, John | Dean, John | Denver, John | Dewey, John | Dillinger, John | Duns Scotus, John | Edward, John | Edwards, John | Ehrlichman, John | Flanagan, John | Ford, John | Fremont, John C. | Gillespie, Dizzy | Glenn, John | Goodman, John | Grisham, John | Hancock, John | Hanson, John | Hinckley, John Jr. | Holliday, John Henry “Doc” | Huston, John | Imus, Don | Jay, John | Karr, John Mark | Kasich, John | Keats, John | Kennedy, John F. | Kennedy, John Jr. | Kerry, John | Keynes, John Maynard | Krasinski, John | Le Carré, John | Legend, John | Lemmon, Jack | Lennon, John | Locke, John | Lord, Jack | Ivan the Terrible | Pavlov, IvanMacdonald, John A. | Madden, John | Malkovich, John | Marshall, John | Mayer, John | McCain, John | Mill, John Stuart | Milton, John | Muir, John | Newman, John Henry | Osbourne, Ozzy | Peel, John | Pershing, John J. | Phillips, John | Prester John | Proctor, John | Roberts, John G. | Rockefeller, John D. Sr. | Cherry, Jonathan | Singleton, John | Sousa, John Philip | Stanley, Henry Morton | Steinbeck, John | Stevens, John Paul | Tolkien, J.R.R. | Travolta, John | Tyler, John | Updike, John | Walker, John | Waters, John | Wayne, John | Williams, John | Woo, John | Wycliffe, John | Yoo, John | Yochanan ben Zakai | Pope John Paul II | John Evans | John Taylor

Political figures, writers, kingmakers, pirates, popes, entertainers, cowboys, revolutionaries, scientists, religious leaders, sex symbols. The name John/Johnny/Jonathan covers ‘em all and then some! Keep in mind this list doesn’t do justice to all the teachers, plumbers, architects, ninjas, fishers, businesspeople, doctors, lawyers, athletes, engineers, and community organizers who have made an impact on humanity but don’t appear on the list. Needless to say, if the past is any indication of the future (and it totally is) I think the world will be in good hands.

Does Kurt Heinrich support Johnism? Probably not, but he's giving a big "thumbs up" here!

Does Kurt Heinrich support Johnism? Probably not, but he's giving a big "thumbs up" here!

So, what are the tenets of Johnism? Well, they’re pretty similar to those of The Daily Gumboot. The ideology’s mandate is to “collect ideas from everywhere and use them to build community.” Other than that, no structure has been hammered out; however, should Johnism get picked up by the people of the planet, the upcoming Summit of John will see the collaborative development of a vision for the future and a strategic plan to carry it out. When it all comes together, I’m confident that you will be impressed. And, hey, people who aren’t Prime Ministers or Mayors or Aldermen or Premiers or Governors or Presidents or Ayatollahs or Dictators for Life or Directors get involved in their communities all the time in organic, contagious and meaningful ways. Just ask Paul Hawken. Like Paul, you folks not named John will totally have a role in the new way of doing things. We’re all part of the same team, after all.

Oh, one other thing. At this point the female readers are probably losing their minds (sorry, mom). Relax, ladies. Johnism is merely a well-thought-out selection process. As part of my very strong belief that women are smarter than men it should also be noted that each John will bring two women to the collaborative, visionary and strategic Summit of John [insert lewd comment here if you so choose]. For example, I will bring Michelle Burtnyk and Naomi Klein [again, insert lewd comment here if you so choose]. Savvy?

I don’t know about you, readers, but I find this all pretty exciting. And, really, what’s the alternative? Should we just exercise our collective voice in demonstrations of mass democracy in an effort to clean up our current social and political systems so they evoke an efficient, egalitarian and productive triple-bottom-line mandate that defines the true ideal of liberated human progress in a way that creates a healthy and happy global community in which we can all thrive? Man, that’s ridiculous!

Billy Shakes once asked, “what’s in a name?” As it turns out, a lot’s in a name. And the name is John. So, Johns, Ivans, Juans, Jeans, and Yahyas of the world: I look forward to working with you soon.

This has been from Aboard the Editor’s Pirate Ship. Thanks for your time.

Have fun with it!

John…ism

Learning from Pirate Communities – Health and Wellness

In the last instalment of this series we learned about the democratic nature of pirate communities. Over 100 years before the French Revolution, democracy existed aboard pirate ships, as represented by the written and signed Articles of Piracy, which demonstrated the crew’s power, as opposed to just the Captain’s. Part of those democratic principles included health care and workplace compensation, both of which, once again, existed on pirate ships long before they did anywhere else in the world.

According to Nigel Cawthorne’s A History of Pirates, when it came to healthy living, “many Royal Navy seamen considered life on board a pirate ship heaven compared with conditions they experienced on board the ships of His Majesty.” There was a greater life expectancy than in the navy and, while a pirate could very well depart this life at the end of a rope, he was allowed to leave the ship when he pleased and, if he chose to go ashore, could, as Cawthorne says, “at least look forward to a few years of freedom and high living.”

Life aboard a pirate ship was not only better lifestyle-wise than that with the Royal Navy or Merchant Marine, but pirates were actually given health benefits in the form of workplace compensation. Specifically, they went into battle knowing that, should they lose a limb or have their eye poked/shot out, they would be financially compensated for such loses. Here is a chart that reflects the actual payment as discussed by David Cordingly in Under the Black Flag:

BODY PART LOST

FINANCIAL COMPENSATION

Right Arm

600 pieces of eight

Left Arm

500 pieces of eight

Right Leg

500 pieces of eight

Left Leg

400 pieces of eight

Eye or Finger

100 pieces of eight

Here were the earliest forms of non-governmental (ie. the military), workplace compensation. Further, the ship’s – or pirate company’s – surgeon was the highest paid member of the crew (fun pirate fact: only carpenters, shipwrights and surgeons earned a salary). Aaron Smith, a surgeon working on a merchant vessel, was captured by Cuban pirates in 1822. He was seen as so valuable that, in spite of speaking no Spanish or being trained in their seafaring tactics, the pirates employed him as a doctor and sail-maker – pirates, unlike the Government of Canada, clearly recognized the transferable skills and qualifications of this foreign trained professional. So, aside from seeing the value in medical professionals (instead of, say, lawyers or investment bankers), what else can we learn from pirate communities with it comes to health and wellness? Here are some key points:

Healthy living begins with a Healthy Community: how did these compensated pirates use their money? Well, if they went to shore they invariably spent it in the taverns and brothels of Tortuga or other pirate haunts on isle of Hispaniola or elsewhere in the sunny Caribbean, hopefully, they built a relationship with local communities (should we start a thread on local food?!). Like many of us today, pirates suffered from the ill-effects of instant gratification. They would spend their compensation without thinking of a long-term strategy; however, if a certain amount of time, effort and resources were exchanged by pirate companies and coastal communities, well, then a system of security and care would be formed. Even today the coastal communities in Somalia rarely cooperate with the authorities and provide shelter, supplies and medical attention to pirates-in-need. As it was 300 years ago, when pirates take care of their communities, their communities take care of them. Organized, democratic, healthily-insured, and possessing a sense of community: wow, Barack Obama could take a page out of their playbook!

Health and Wellness in the Workplace: each year the Canadian economy loses upwards of $30 billion because of workplace stress. Our country’s workers are asked to do too much too quickly in an effort to complete projects within razor-thin profit margins. And if you’re an organization that recognizes the relationship between happy, healthy workers and profitability, well, then your organization is going places. Not unlike a pirate ship! If not, hey, you can learn from the pirates. Today, over one million people in Canada’s workforce suffer from some kind of mental illness brought on by stress. In the seventeenth century, life aboard a pirate ship was easier and more efficient than aboard a ship in the Merchant Marine. There were more pirates (typically as many as 80) than merchant sailors (sometimes as few as 12), so buccaneers would actually be more productive and get to work less. How was this possible? Well, the booty, plunder and earnings of the pirates was divided democratically amongst the crew, whereas merchant sailors saw the profits from their hauls go to wealthy businessmen in London, Boston and New York. This is why, argues Cordingly, so many merchant sailors joined pirate crews after their vessels were attacked and raided. Reasonable time to complete less work, more loot and health insurance?! Why wouldn’t they sign up?!

Health Insurance is different from Wellness: pirates, like some of you reading this blog, are a little dirty. Now. There are levels of dirtiness, obviously. For pirates, they got filthy in a venereal sense. In fact, due to syphilis rates that rival modern day Whistler night clubs or Axe body spray commercials, pirates would usually head directly to the medicine chest, not the armoury or treasure-hold, when they ransacked a ship. It was itch-curing mercury compounds, not gold, rum or gunpowder that was the sought-after treasure for so many of these scallywags. Just as with the these wench-pillaging buccaneers, today many of us look to the healthcare system to cure illnesses brought on by excessive smoking, drinking, sitting, eating, stressing, and unprotected sexing. While pirates, like many of us, have access to health care, we must remember that such a system is only part of what it takes to be healthy. Really, it takes a well-rounded, holistic approach that involves diet, exercise, work-life-balance, and happiness. So, the next time you’re thinking about swilling some rum, grabbin’ yer cutlass and hittin’ the port with yer mates, ask yourself if these actions will lead to you being a drain on an over-taxed system that is set up to help people who actually need it. Not over-indulging pirates.

At this point, I’ll add a disclaimer and remind you, the readers, of the context in which these tales took place. Look. Life on board a pirate ship in the eighteenth-century was, yes, better than life in the Royal Navy. Keep in mind, though, that your food still had maggots in it and that you usually slept in a damp room bellow decks and fell asleep beneath a wet, mouldy blanket. So, yes, it was better, but let us keep in mind the standards by which these pirate-ship-havens were measured. Also, just as governments tax their citizens, pirates taxed (and still tax) communities. The Canadian government, when taxing, doesn’t tend to set things on fire, though…

Yes. Subtle differences abide. Long story short, work less and be well…like a pirate!

Thar be it, mateys and matettes! Have yourselves a grand day on the high seas.

- Sir John the Pirate Piratologist