Editor’s Note: crammed into a Canadian apartment – any Canadian apartment, Michelle, Kurt, Theo, and John watched the Canadian Leadership Debate. With laptops everywhere, the correspondents provided cutting-edge, biting and edutaining commentary on pretty much all of the points made by Steve, Jack, Mike, and Gilles. The original piece was about 4,000 words. This is the edited version.
The Panel of Opinioneers
Michelle Burtnyk-Horn – Healthy Public Advocate of Healthy People and Health
Kurt Heinrich – Federal Liberal with a big heart and a pragmatic streak
John Horn – Cynical Libertarian Cascadian Separatist Pirate
Theo Lamb – The undecided youth demographic
Our Rules of Engagement
- Kurt Heinrich is the authority on all political knowledge, history, leader profiles, and fact-checking.
- Theo can pause the PVR whenever she wants.
- We have to use Babelfish Translator to change all of our comments about Gilles Duceppe into French.
- No bathroom breaks. Just straight-up politicogging (political blogging).
7:00PM EST – GO!
7:01 – Theo: There are a lot of people wearing yellow ties in the crowd.
Topic 1 – The Economy
7:01 – John: “Here we go again,” says the moderator … man, not an inspiring way to get things started. 
7:03 – Theo: Wait a minute, where’s Elizabeth May? Oh right. We failed to allow a leader and a party who earned 8% of the last election’s vote participate in a national leaders debate. #Fail for Canadian broadcasters.
7:04 – Kurt: Gilles Duceppe ouvre la discussion avec la première attaque directe accusant le harpiste des personnes RÉELLEMENT de réponse. Gentil. Comme prévu Duceppe va être le mauvais garçon de la discussion.
7:04 – Michelle: For heaven’s sake, Harper?! Where are you looking?!
7:05 – John: Avec sa passion, Monsieur Duceppe est John Connor au Le Terminateur du Stephen Harper. Littéralement, je pense… Tellement esprit de corps d’un Quebecois passionné.
7:07 – John: Steve, I feel for you. Maybe you can deflect the current threeway attack with some jokes. Try this: “So, a reckless coalition walks into a bar, and the bartender says ‘What can I get for you fellahs?’ and they just starts arguing about whose more communist and then Canada explodes!” ZING!
7:12 – Theo: Thank, Mr. Layton, for bringing up the environment 12 minutes into the debate.
Topic 2 – Canada’s Place in the World
7:12 – Michelle: “Jets, Jails and Corporate Tax Giveaways” – not a bad slogan, Mr. Ignatieff. But can you repeat it like a Harperism for the next three weeks?
7:13 – Kurt: “Let’s tell the truth about jets.” – Stephen Harper
7:14 – John: “’Let’s tell the truth about jets.’ – Stephen Harper” – Kurt Heinrich, 2011
7:15 – John: Mark the time, the debate has broken down into senseless yelling.”
7:18 – Kurt: Layton zings Harper by complaining that he should take some time to read his own press releases.
7: 20 – Theo: This is fascinating to watch, really. Canadians are fairly conflict averse. We work so hard to find consensus and to allow for compromise and peace. To watch four leaders hash it out and not give an inch – it’s all rather un-Canadian. It’s heated and fascinating and uncomfortable and, well, American.
7:22 – John: Theo. Yes. I think that the podium arrangement looks very American, too. But they’re probably made in China.
7:25 – Theo: Who would win in a fight? A vampire or a werewolf? A hammerhead shark-man or a centaur? Jacob or Edward? Jack Layton or Gilles Duceppe?
7:26 – Kurt: Jack Layton just took a cheap shot. Accuses Liberals of ignoring climate change back in the 1990s. C’mon Jack – was it really the Liberals? Or maybe EVERYONE?!
7:28 – John: Agreed. Cheap shot.
7:31 – Michelle: Stephen Harper is now talking about how Canada is a leader on the international stage for the environment. Not sure if that’s the best example.
7:35 – Kurt: Getting feisty when it comes to the auditor general support. Ignatieff literally calling him out asking him “what are you afraid of?”. Harper doesn’t budge. Still in the message box.
7:37 – John: Side note: Remi the cat – to whom Theo Lamb is allergic – just started kissing her…amazing. And, yes, this debate is so repetitive and counterproductive that I was just distracted by a cat kissing a lady. #uninspired
7:38 – Kurt: Stephen Harper talking about climate change is making Theo upset – like the incredible hulk – but red, not green.
7:39 – Michelle: “You gotta know where you’re going if you want to get there” – Jack Layton on Stephen Harper’s response on climate change, followed closely with an accusation that targets have not been set. And need to be.
Topic 3 – Governance
7:42 – Michelle: Harper vs. Ignatieff. The moment everyone is waiting for. 
7:47 – Kurt: Iggy busts out some new guns – what’s the deal with you (Steve) kicking people out of rallies because they are my Facebook friend?
7:54 – Kurt: Shibam – coalition discussion – was Harper planning on forming a coalition over half a decade ago. The (former coalition) partners (NDP and BLOC) say yes – the PM says no. Michael Ignatieff looks smug. Who’s lying?
7:54 – Michelle: Wow! Gilles Duceppe is hammering Harper.
7:56 – Theo: It should be noted that all four of us have been pretty quiet/slack-jawed at what we’re watching right now between Duceppe and the gang.
7:57 – John: Michael Ignatieff is bi-winning. He’s not saying anything, and Harper’s on the wrong side of a threeway lie-fest with a socialist and Jack Layton about the Delta Hotel in Montreal, inappropriate letters, reckless coalitions, piracy, and great scotch. Jack + Gilles = bi-winning.
8:01 – Kurt: Is contempt of Parliament really the big issue all Canadians care about? Ignatieff is striking me as the leader of a philosophy club, rather than the leader of our country.
Topic 4 – Immigration
8:09 – John: I think that 7.9 million Canadians just went to get snacks and beer while Jack and Gilles talk. Kurt Heinrich: “Why does Gilles Duceppe have 55 seats?!” Michelle: “Why is he there and not Elizabeth May?” John: “Because he has 55 seats.” Theo: “But why does he have 55 seats?”
8:10 – Michelle: Gilles vs. Jack is quite boring.
8:11 – John: Oh, Steve! There you are! Thanks for bringing relevance back into this discussion.
8:13 – Theo: Layton asks Harper: “Why did you cut the immigrant settlement services?” Harper to Layton: “Settlement funding has tripled under this government.” Wait a minute? We need a fact checker – who’s right!?
8:13 – Michelle: Kurt is right.
8:13 – John: Kurt is right.
8:13 – Kurt: I’m totally right.
8:14 – Theo: Okay.
8:15 – John: Chacun continue à indiquer que « il n’est simplement pas vrai » ou ils composent juste les nombres (corrects, $6 milliards de Gilles Duceppe au nombre de GM était étonnant). Avec chaque coup, 4,527 Canadiens se développent cyniques et voeu pour ne pas voter pour quelconque d’entre ces yahoos. Et, oui, j’ai fabriqué ce nombre.
8:16 – Kurt: Gilles Duceppe semble être à son propre ordre du jour bizarre, répétant Bill 101 et attaquant le multiculturalisme à plusieurs reprises. Certainement une discussion/discussion qui ne se relie pas vraiment à la plupart des Canadiens (en dehors de du Québec de toute façon).
8:19 – Theo: Ignatieff on multiculturalism and “confidence” in the two official languages. Nice, Ignatieff.
TOPIC 5: The Justice System
8:21 – Michelle: Ignatieff mentions BC! … in the context of gang violence. Et Duceppe l’apporte de nouveau « au crime interne » dans propre partie de M. Harper’s.
8:21 – Michelle: Ignatieff reaches across the aisle (podium) and talks about how we can learn from Quebec’s young offenders program. Commending other parties hasn’t happened very much, if at all, in this debate so far.
8:22 – Theo: I agree, Michelle. It was nice to see Ignatieff reach out, recognize and commend something another leader supports. That’s a Canadian move. Trademark.
8: 27 – Theo/John/Kurt/Michelle: HASHTAG FAIL!
8:27 – Theo: Failing of the hashtag! Layton wins one from the Millennials!
8:32 – Michelle: What does the number of women in parliament have to do with the justice system?
8:33 -Michelle: GUN REGISTRY! I would have thought this would have come up earlier.
8:33 – John: Great saying about guns. It goes like this: Actually, guns do kill people.
8:33 – Kurt: Why is it such a big deal for “farmers and rural Canadians” to register their guns? Yeah, I get it Harper – it’s a pain that they’re affected by gun violence in Vancouver, Toronto and Montreal, but really, police are all saying that this is an effective program. Why can’t they keep it?
8:34 – Michelle: Agreed, Kurt. I like how Ignatieff brought up the police’s stance on the matter. Their opinion probably counts a bit.
Topic 6 – Health Care
8:37 – John: Wow. No friggin’ question about the environment. Amazing. #EPICFAIL to everyone involved in this fiasco – you’re at the top of the list, CBC producers.
8:37 – Theo: I agree, John. I wonder what the thinking was behind that decision. Do they think the public is fatigued by environmental issues? Okay, now I’m eager to turn to Facebook and Twitter and check out the reaction, there.
8:39 – John: FACT: Stephen Harper has never been on a bandwagon in his life.
8:43 – Michelle: Privatization. Harpers talks about how the provinces aren’t experimenting with privatization … but they are with “alternative service delivery”. What exactly is the difference?
8:59 – Kurt: It was a dog pile. Everyone hammered at Stephen Harper for a good 2 hours. Tough stuff. But in the end I have to say Harper was able to own his own (in an aloof sort of way). And Ignatieff stood out as a strong almost folksy sort of way.
9:00PM EST – Did Democracy Win?
Michelle: Yes, democracy won. Interesting how democracy was a key point raised again and again throughout the debate. According to some candidates, an alternative term might be ’bickering’. So at the end of the day, either bickering or democracy won.
Kurt: Yeah – because four leaders with different viewpoints fought it out and if we weren’t in a democracy it wouldn’t happen like that.
Theo: Sure – four leaders were given opportunities to represent their party’s issues on six different topics; Canadian viewers can now decide for themselves. Time to vote!
John: Always – and that’s the problem; meaningful environmental reforms – which roll out over decades, not four-year-terms – can only be driven through by a charismatic, nature-loving dictatorship … or Johnism.
