Tag Archives: Bill Simmons

Community of Madness – Round Deaux

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Recap | Welcome to March Sadness!

Alex: Whenever any sports enthusiast is asked to explain what makes March Madness so great, they invariably go all misty eyed and say something like, “The kids just want it so bad! The emotion is all right there!” and “It’s single game elimination, anyone can beat anyone! Upsets baby!”

Of course this is all correct. And it also happens to be why I have sworn off March Madness for the rest of my life.

You may look at my bracket and see a mess of incorrect picks and general incompetence. You might say, “Boy, Alex really blew it.” Well, let me tell you what my bracket really is. IT IS A GRAVEYARD OF BROKEN HOPES AND DREAMS.

You see, what people fail to mention while they wax on rhapsodically about the “The Big Dance” is that it’s not just the emotions of the players that live perilously close to the surface. As sad as it is, the emotional well being of entire states, and certain ex-pats, are at stake when teams take the floor. So when my dear dear Purdue lost to VCU this weekend, I wasn’t upset because my bracket was summarily incinerated. I inconsolable because JaJuan, E’Twuan, and Robbie (the Big 3) are going to graduate without a true run at the championship, which I’m not alone in thinking they have the talent to earn. These are young men whom I’ve never met, I’ve never seen play in person, and who live in a state and country I’ve moved away from. But in March, none of that mattered. And on Sunday, I had a broken heart.

Luckily, my frenemesis John Horn is a man that understands this kind of anguish. Which, I imagine, is why he sent me a text message immediately after the game that read: “Suck it Trebek! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!” Exactly the kind of tact you’d expect from the kind of man who’d put Notre Dame in the championship game. Revolting.

John: Everything is over. And I couldn’t agree more with The Great Alex Grant. I hate Canada so much. I had a lot riding on Gonzaga, Texas and Syracuse and their Canadian players. What I should’ve realized is that Canadians can’t play basketball and that Steve Nash is actually a robot from the future sent back in time to defend John Connor.

So, yesterday there I sat on the bus I was listening to The BS Report with Bill Simmons when I realized that Alex and I are actually total geniuses. I listened to Billy parade out expert after expert after expert. From Vegas “sharps” to NFL, NBA and NCAA organizers, gamblers and ex-players, the podcast had it all. And, you know what, all of Mr. Simmons’s pro-panelists made wrong picks, too. Some of them event made more wrong ones than ours. I mean, at least Alex and I didn’t have Indiana State beating Syracuse, Notre Dame in the Final or Purdue winning it al- oh…we had some of those, eh?

Well, my UBC Mens Tier 1 Recreation League semi-final game is tomorrow night. I’m going to put a lot of effort into that game. You know, one that I can actually play and affect change in. Yeah. A game like that, not the clusterfunk that we just experienced in the March Madness tourney.

Moving on…

Predictions | John & Alex Don’t Care

Alex: As I said, March Madness is now dead to me, so I have no interest in making any further predictions and therein further damaging my already deeply bruised pride. HOWEVER, since the Gumboot agreed to my handsome demands (I’m being paid in handsomeness by the Editors, who have that commodity in spades) I suppose I should honor the terms of that contract and make some GD picks.

Let’s see, who’s left…

/Consults bracket

//Begins uncontrollably weeping for the 30th time

Here’s my revised Final Four: UNC, Kansas, Duke, and Wisconsin. And I think Kansas has the best shot to win it all. Just for comedy’s sake, I should say that my bracket has 400 points, out of a possible 600. Sigh.

John: I predict that Ohio State will do an awesome job in the rest of the tournament. Also, what’s a Buckeye? And, even though the Longhorns are out of the tournament, I’m pretty sure that Texas is still going to beat Duke in the Sweet 16. I know, I know, I know what you’re thinking. It’s a ballsy prediction. But that’s what I think. Wait. It’s what I know.

Also, I think that Kansas will be in the final after beating the crap out of whoever the winner of Southeast Bracket Ridiculousness 2011 happens to be. My Final Four: Ohio State, SDSU, Kansas, Wiscounsin.

[INSERT TRASH TALK HERE]

Alex: If I still cared about March Madness, this is the area where I’d point out that Mr. Horn’s picking abilities have left him with exactly three of his Elite Eight teams still eligible, and that’s if everything goes according to this crazy like a fox plans. Sure, he’s likely been puffing himself up like a Canadian bullfrog about that Richmond pick, but let’s not overlook his Southeast Bracket. Apparently, the Southeast is where a high pressure system of erroneous met with a low pressure system of incorrectness, and it created a swirling tornado of just plain wrong which destroyed everything in its path. But that’s what happens when you rely on ole Kalin Lucas and his creaky ankles. Too bad I’m done with March Madness, and won’t mention any of this.

John: Alex Grant is a nice man with a beard – not a mustache – who I am happy to call my friend. He and I will be getting married soon so that I can become an American (sorry Robin) because Canada and it’s players and the American college teams that they play on led me astray and are hereby and henceforth dead to me. Does my decision to marry Alex make sense? Am I married to someone named Michelle right now? Well, these are all questions for Homeland Security and, probably, Robin to figure out. In the meantime, we’re both too hurt to jab each other with anything other than happy chicken wings and even happier steak fajitas and, yes, a hug or two as well.

Alex, what say we write about gardening or Dave Eggers or good wine next week?

Robin’s Chitter Chatter

Robin: Don’t listen to a word of what Alex says about “Being done with March Madness.” After he hysterically cried it all out on Sunday, he whimpered, “Is there another game on? I want to watch.” You can take the skinny white kid out of Indiana, but you can’t take the basketball out of him. PS: I’m beating everyone. Do I care? No.

Canada’s Crush on Steve Nash

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Are you like me? Do you love Steve Nash?

Sure, people said that he looked “confused” during the Vancouver 2010 Opening Ceremonies, but I’ll tell you where he doesn’t look confused: on the basketball court, where he is averaging over 11 assists and 18 points per game at the age of 36. As it turns out, he also isn’t really confused behind the camera (and only sometimes in front of it, too, like when hydraulics malfunction). For you see, it is this kind of multi-dimensional awesomeness that makes Steve Nash, well, one of the coolest Canucks there’s ever been.

nash

Steve Nash, in my opinion, is the greatest person on the planet a cool guy because of four main reasons. Here they are:

1. Athleticism across several sports. Basketball is certainly where he makes his mad chedda, yo, but Nash is also a world class soccer player, bicycle rider, runner, surfer, hockey player, and, yes, dancer of the robot.

2. Entrepreneurial Savvy. Fast Company’s cover story about Nash is called “Transition Game” and it outline’s the point guard’s uncanny ability to see and predict change in the most confident of ways. Off the court, according to Fast Company’s Chuck Salter, this wasn’t always the case: “Nash was a camera-shy and endorsement-averse pro even as he became an all-star; he now pitches ad ideas to Nike and Vitaminwater and relishes cameos on Entourage and The Late Show with David Letterman.”

3. Inclusively Humouristic Canadianism. Clearly, Steve doesn’t take himself too seriously, and he’s all about involving others in his projects, whether it’s on the basketball court or in the studio, creating superawesome films like this one about Terry Fox. Many people argue that it is Nash’s very Canadian “from-me-to-we” attitude that makes him so good. And basketball guru Bill Simmons claims that, in the NBA, there isn’t a more authentic leader out there.

4. Community Building. Nash’s message couldn’t be simpler: make an assist. His foundation assists communities through environmental stewardship, sport and empowering youth. Check out The Steve Nash Foundation and learn how you can get involved.

In order to fully comprehend the above qualities, I’ve arranged a three-video-evaluation of the above criteria with the help of Fast Company Magazine, which featured Mr. Nash in their February 2010 issue. The magazine celebrated Captain Canada,  one of our country’s greatest athletes, for his entrepreneurial style and swagger. All scoring is done on a five point scale. Check out his moves!

THE VERDICT:

1. Athleticism across several sports = 4/5. He runs and weight lifts, giving us an idea of his athletic depth and breadth.

2. Entrepreneurial Savvy = 5/5. Fun Fact: Steve Nash pitched this idea to promote his Trash Talk basketball shoe, which is the first sneaker made out of post-consumer recycled material, brought in his cousin, Ezra Holland, to direct the commercial and then split the production costs with Nike.

3. Inclusively Humouristic Canadianism = 3.5/5. He calls himself the 60 million dollar man because, well, the Phoenix Suns signed him to a $66 million deal just before the commercial launched. It’s tongue-in-cheek, I get it, but there’s a lot of people out there making some Forty Two Thousand Dollar Man movies. Savvy?

4. Community Building = 5/5. No surprises here. The whole commercial is about building things. And, as usual, Steve includes his teammates!

TOTAL SCORE = 17.5/20.

THE VERDICT:

1. Athleticism across several sports = 5/5. Basketball? Check. Bike riding? Check. Swinging on a swing? Check. Dancing? Check. Amazing? Double check!

2. Entrepreneurial Savvy = 4/5. Sometimes being a good entrepreneur means putting your spin on someone else’s idea, like Will Ferrell’s…

3. Inclusively Humouristic Canadianism = 5/5. I think my dad has that shirt…

4. Community Building = 5/5. People laugh, people watch, people ask questions, and, most importantly, people feel involved in this quirky community.

TOTAL = 19/20.

THE VERDICT:

1. Athleticism across several sports = 5/5. Come on! He nutmegs some of the greatest soccer players in the world, pulls off some sweet urban adventure moves and masters the game of espionage. Not bad, Steve. Not bad at all.

2. Entrepreneurial Savvy = 5/5. It’s a funny thing, using a reputation built on basketball and Canadian-ness to promote – ahem - soccer to the world. And yet, here it is…SNF_redux

3. Inclusively Humouristic Canadianism = 5/5. Getting beaten up by the Milan team takes a special skill-set and, well, the whole premise is playfully creative at the expense of superstars.

4. Community Building = 6/5. You have to have massive street cred to pull off a project like this. And, hey, it also promotes a very healthy and worldly cause. Of course, we expect nothing less of Steve Nash!

TOTAL = 21/20.

So there it is. A critical evaluation of a hero, Steve Nash. But, at the end of the day, this is just one man’s opinion. And I encourage you to be part of the YouTube frenzie (over 300,000 views to date) and check out the digital work of Canada’s superstar.

Be sure to have fun with it. Because we all know Steve will.

- JCH