Author Archives: Theo Lamb

Team Media Awesome

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Click on the image above to donate to Team Media Awesome.

On Sunday, June 6th, contributors at the Daily Gumboot will lace up their running shoes, soak in sunscreen, and run for oncology research at BC Children’s Hospital. You can support our team, aptly named “Team Media Awesome” here.

It’s hard to describe the feeling you get from supporting a cause like ChildRun. Our generation has so much to do in this lifetime and so many things to pass on to our children. Something tells me the hardest work is yet to come and to accomplish it, we need healthy children living disease-free, nourished and loved, all around the world. And, after all,  gumboots are worn best by young people jumping in puddles and living cancer-free.

Next to Shakespeare and Lao-Tzu, Khalil Gibran is one of the most widely read poets in history. I believe his words  perfectly describe  our role and responsibility when it comes to caring for the next generation:

“Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.”

- Khalil Gibran, The Prophet

Douchebag Baggage

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I grew up in a household where music, cinema and literature were never censored. I was exposed to television that would have otherwise made the Baptist mother’s of my elementary friend’s quake at their knees. Needless to say, I was savvy to all of the current cuss words. Thats why I was completely shocked at my parent’s recent reaction over the simple turn of phrase, “emo-hispter douchebag.” They were totally taken aback by the fact I would actually think to call someone this (and by someone, I mean emo-hipster douchebags in general…. whoever they are.) For my parents, it was the ultimate insult and held none of the lightness, satire or slang-association that my friends and I applied to it. In a home where I thought anything goes, I had found the household Achilles heel. I mentioned my cussing faux-pas to the Gumboot editors and quicker than you can say Lord Douchebag, the Daily Gumboot was rolling out a weeklong series on douchebags for your education and enjoyment.

I would argue that nowhere in the annals of blogging has the term “douchebag” been more explored than here, on the Daily Gumboot. In particular, the different perspectives that herald from Germany, East Africa and Argentina does as much to shroud this nebulous word in mystery as it does to shed light on it. I’ve learned many things from reading this blog’s line-up of articles discussing the douchebag, Tarado, Makmende and Spacko. I have enjoyed the back and forth play between contributors on the merits and disadvantages of douchebags in the community, and reading about the historical significance of the word – stretching and assimilating every possible meaning behind it.

But most of all, this series has left me thinking about memes. A meme is when something – a word, song, movie, expression, or movement – is passed on from one individual to the next. When we say something has “gone viral,” we mean it’s reached meme status. I would argue that the term douchebag is now a meme. From the emo-hipster douchebag (urbandictionary.com has yet to list this one) to Sarah Silverman’s Douche Canoe, the word douchebag carries a lot of baggage which, if you take the pun seriously, says something about pop culture today.

I have no doubt, that when Saturday Night Live first aired their infamous Lord and Lady Douchbag skit in 1980, my parents were blown away and tickled pink by the gall and humour of the cast and writers. What was fresh and controversial for my parents is classic, pioneer humour for me. When I watch the skit, I think of the words “playful,” “naughty” and “obnoxious.” I suppose you could apply these words, combined or not, to douchebags and those of us who use the term as liberally as we do, today.

Well done, Gumbooters! If there were a douchebag-reporting award, I think we would win it – or is that way too douchey of me to say?

Douchebag Table of Contents

A Discussion of Douchebags – Introduction

A Discussion of Douchebags – History & Etymology

Douchebags of the World, Unite!

The East African Douchebag

The Douchebag in Latin America: “We all have a little Tarado inside!”

To Douchebag, or Not to Douchebag?

Befriend a Douchebag Today!

For the Sake of the Community, Bring out the Antidouche!

Political Douchebaggery

Your Digital Fill (of Douchebags)

Get to Know Your Community Douchebag – Pete (the Mystery Man)

Can I Get a “Like” Around Here?

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You may have noticed some changes to Facebook this week. Mark Zuckerberg’s brainchild is reaching across platforms so that you can “like” the content you find on the web. In short, Facebook is taking over the world. Well, almost.

Facebook has teamed up with Pandora, Microsoft and other companies to provide you with a “like” tool that connects their websites to your Facebook account. Essentially, you’ll be cruising for tunes through Pandora’s virtual stacks, come across a song you like, “like it” and the news will carry over to your Facebook feed. The idea is to connect people through common interests.

You’ll notice that your fan pages no longer measure the number of fans they have but, rather, how many people “like” it. And you can also see how many of your own friends like that page, too. Your friends’ support is added incentive to like a page yourself. If there was ever any confusion around whether Facebook depended on the human condition to “follow the crowd,” there shouldn’t be anymore.

As Mashable’s Adam Ostrow puts it, the new “like” function is “a small wording change with some potentially big implications.” According to Facebook, people click the like button almost twice as much as they “Become a Fan” of something.

For those of you out there who don’t like change, I wouldn’t worry too much about this new addition. The changes we’re seeing, on a whole, won’t have a major impact on how you connect with your friends. It will, however, open things up and connect more people to common interests, be it an onion ring more popular than the Prime Minister, or Kung Fu.

Be smart. Know what you’re opting into, for security and simplicity’s sake.  Advertisers and brands can use the “like” function to collect a fan base of their own. It’s just another way for them to plug into you. The next time you “like” something, ask yourself, “do I care about this?” After all, it may just be a like, but it’s also a gateway into a company, brand or interest that’s vying for valuable real estate:  your attention.

Jónsi

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(I’ve written my concert review of  Jónsi in the form of a letter to an old university friend, to try and make it as personal as possible. That’s because I find music reviews often come off as impersonal. Once upon a time, I was a theatre major. )

Dear Alistair

I miss you. I went to a concert last night and it made me think of you.

Jónsi is the lead singer from Sigur Ros (I’m sure you know this.) He’s traveling the world, performing songs from his new album, “Go” – a side project while his Sigur Ros band mates have babies.

The stage was designed by Fifty Nine Productions, a company that usually designs sets for the Metropolitan Opera Company and the English National Opera. The stage was set with a series of backdrops built for projections. Jónsi’s performance started quietly and slowly built into what became an obvious but elegant theme, to which I won’t reveal in the hopes that you go see the show yourself. Animation was projected  on stage throughout the show and accompanied the rise and fall of the music and Jónsi’s unmistakeable falsetto voice.

I was sometimes irritated by the crowd’s applause. Like a play or any worthwhile story, it could have done without interruptions. “Jónsi” or  Jón Thor Birgisson’s falsetto vocals soared in perfect pitch. The costumes were bold. And his band mates used a number of unusual instruments and tools to fill out his sound. But most of all, Al – Jónsi reminded me of you. The moment he stepped out on stage, you knew you were about to witness something very personal and close to his heart. And that’s exactly what I feel when I watch your work.

I thought the best moment of the whole evening came at the end, when Jónsi and his band of talented and beautiful young men, returned to the stage before a standing ovation, bowed, and spent a good moment looking out at us, as if they couldn’t believe we were there to watch them perform. They gave us genuine smiles and expressions of surprise.

I think you should go see, Jónsi . It’s likely he won’t tour with this band and set again. And I want to know what you think. I’ve included a video – a snippet from his song “Grow Tall.” A friend told me he wrote the song the day after a New Year’s party. He wanted to try and capture the feeling of “the next morning”, after a night of celebrating with his friends.

Lots of love,

Theo

Home, Earth and Beginnings

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Lately, I’ve been hearing drums all around me.

There’s prominent drumming in Paul Simon’s “Graceland” album, which I can’t seem to turn off these days. There’s drumming in “Rhythm,” a short and excellent documentary that features my friend Neelamjit, the finest tabla player you’ll ever hear, at least here in Vancouver. And there was nothing but drumming in the Cultural Olympiad event, “Sound of the Ocean,” a show by the U-Theatre from Taiwan.

When I first sat down to write this post, I thought I’d start off with a brief history lesson on drumming. I tossed the idea after I realized a history of using our hands, complete with opposable thumbs, on a surface to make  noise dates back to when we were primates far from the savannah, making music in the trees. That, and show me a culture that has never practiced rhythm in its history. So the best I can do is write about what happened when I watched and listened to “Sound of the Ocean.”

The show began with each performer silently walking on stage and taking their place in front of their instrument. After about five minutes of this, you’re on edge because you know what’s coming. But you’re still unprepared for the wave of sound that hits you out of the silence when they first touch their sticks to the drum skin. I’m not blind or deaf but if I were both, I can’t imagine it stopping me from experiencing some part of a drum performance like the one I watched. Each move the drummers took was a means to an end: the beat of a drum.  But the movement that was created was more like a dance than a gesture. And you could feel the power of the vibration of the drum in your seat and through the balls of your feet.

At one point, there were 15 people on stage, each of them drumming in perfect time. They knew the music and count inside and out. But watching them, you would never know when the rhythm or tempo was going to change up. When it did change, it happened in perfect sync. You know that feeling you get when you say a word at the same time someone else says it too? Jinx! It’s like that, multiplied by a thousand – a silent little victory inside your heart.

Huang Chih-Chun is the music director and drum master at U-Theatre. He tells us

“the changes in loudness remind us of the adaptability of water that flows downhill, willingly complying with the slope. The silence stands for the largest drop, and it’s also the moment of not knowing. The drumming remains unbroken despite intermittent strokes. But the intervals are not made of silence; they are filled with the primordial sound “om,” which in Buddhist cosmology fills the universe.”

I think I want to see more drumming. Watching those beautiful performers exercise perfect rhythm made me feel grounded and connected to everyone else in the room who, for all I know, were all thinking the same thing: “I know this sound. It reminds me of something from long ago – it speaks of home and earth and beginnings.”

Smack-that She Spot: Connecting Community One Woman at a Time

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outer-limits-screen-capture“There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling transmission. If we wish to make it louder, we will bring up the volume. If we wish to make it softer, we will tune it to a whisper. We will control the horizontal. We will control the vertical. We can roll the image, make it flutter. We can change the focus to a soft blur or sharpen it to crystal clarity. For the next hour, sit quietly and we will control all that you see and hear. We repeat: there is nothing wrong with your television set. You are about to participate in a great adventure. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to… The Outer Limits.”

Now replace “television set” with “internet” and “The Outer Limits” with “women” and you’ve just described the social media landscape. Women are taking over the web. At least the social media side of things and, if what I learned today bares any truth, it was theirs for the taking in the first place. Gentlemen reading this fear not, it all balances out (sort-of.)

I tuned into a webinar this morning hosted by the fine people at Care2 called “The She Spot.” The guest speakers were Lisa Witter, co-author of The She Spot, Morra Aarons-Mele, founder of Women Online, and Michelle Coyle, Director of Nonprofit Services at Care2. The conversation opened up with the less-than-surprising statistic that 83% of all consumer decisions (in North America) are made by women. And, as Witter pointed out, it’s the reason why Jiffy Lube decided to build waiting rooms and Pepsi has launched a new campaign. Women buy. But before they buy, they have to first buy-in.

The 4 C’s

What stood out  during the webinar was the statement “life is a community.” For women, everything on the web leads back to these words. It’s why Witter pointed out the four C’s that all web marketers should take to heart: care, control, cultivate, and connect. Care is why it’s so important to put a face to an organization. It speaks to our (men and women’s) sense of community. It’s personal. Control speaks to the control women try to exercise over their lives and the many tasks they have to perform at once: family, career, personal growth, love, relationships. Culture is why it’s harder to engage women online (I’ll get to this in a minute.) It goes beyond a one-time donation or purchase – women are more likely to ask themselves “Can I do more?” And finally, there’s connect, which speaks to the unconscious urge women have to share with each other – think gossip. Connecting power rests in collective creativity.

Men Decide Faster and Women Invest More

A term I hadn’t heard before today was “the longer list principal.” According to the principal, every person has an internal check-list of requirements when it comes to making a decision. Compared to men, a women’s checklist is twice as long. This would help explain statistics that show men are quicker to make a decision. A shorter list also means a more fleeting connection. If a woman can check off enough requirements, she’s likely to remain a more loyal contributor in the long run because, technically, she’s investing more into the decision-making process.

Content = Godliness = Men

Men are still the creators. What I mean by this is they’re still creating most of the content women are tweeting, posting, and sharing with each other. Youtube videos, websites, and online news are coming down from men and circulating among women. Case and point – the Daily Gumboot is the brainchild of two men (er – men who, from time to time, think they’re ninjas and pirates, no?) Morra Aarons-Mele thinks this may balance out as Generation Y continues to take the reigns. Time will tell. Software development and anything highly technical still belongs to the male realm and I don’t think that’s likely to change. For women to balance out video content, the software would have to become simpler. Ladies, don’t take that statement the wrong way. It comes down to priorities – do women want to spend more time assembling the content or sharing it?

This is just the tip of the ice berg. It’s a conversation that will continue to evolve as new ways of information sharing and community building emerge – a conversation I plan to continue as a contributor to the Gumboot.

Happy Connecting! And thank you Care2!

The Professional Break-Up

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~breaking up is hard to do~

Of all the different communities you will encounter in your life, the one you’ll end up spending the most time with, funnily enough, is your professional community. So it should come as no surprise that stepping away from one work community to embrace another is harder than it looks — it’s a lot like breaking up.

The other day, I resigned from a radio station I’d been with for two years — not that long in the scheme of things but long enough to have developed roots and real connections with my co-workers. I’ve come to a point in my life where I need to shut one door so another one can open. That’s pretty much how I see the universe operating.

The company I’m leaving is small and operates like a close-knit family. Looking back, I might have done a few things differently when I told them I was leaving, but there were a few points I think I got right and here they are:

“This hurt be pain’in me”

TALK TO SOMEONE YOU TRUST AND SOMEONE WHO KNOWS YOUR BOSS BEFORE HAND

One of the best things I did before dropping the news was talk with a co-worker I trust about what I planned to do. My co-worker was able to help me choose the right words and body language. It’s a small company and everyone is affected when management is under pressure to replace someone quickly so it was in her interest that the news goes down as smoothly as possible. That said, I wouldn’t share your plans with more than one, perhaps two people, tops. Imagine your boss getting wind of your departure before you mention anything – brutal!

“Breaking up’s hard to do”

DON’T GO IN THERE WITH ANY ILLUSION – IT’S GOING TO BE HARD

Chances are, the news is going to come as a surprise to your boss and everyone handles surprises differently (unless you’re a cog in a massive company – it might not matter so much, then.) Your employer may be emotional or even confrontational. Be prepared and stick to a script. Acknowledge what they say to you. If you need an out because the heat is coming on too strong, suggest they take some time to absorb the news and arrange to meet again the next day, or even next week.

“We’re all friends ‘round these parts”

LEAVE A GOOD IMPRESSION AND MAKE SURE YOUR WORDS COME FROM AN HONEST PLACE

Share with your boss the positive impact they’ve had on your career (for some people this might be a stretch – do your best to search out a few key points.) Your boss is human and chances are, they’ll need a little stroking before bouncing back and putting on that “HR hat”, at least, that’s how my boss described it.

I’m happy to report that it’s been almost a week and things have settled down here at work. I have the full support of my station and I feel as though I’m leaving on a high note — it doesn’t get much better than that, does it?

Zombies for an Olympic Cause

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Calvin and Hobbes - best comic ever by Bill Watterson

Calvin and Hobbes - best comic ever by Bill Watterson

I live in Vancouver, British Columbia — home and soon to be host of the 2010 Olympic winter games. And can you believe it — the other day, I suggested we get cable to watch the games.

In a little under four weeks, my city will be turned inside out for the event. Not that we haven’t been turned inside out already. Transport officials have already warned us that public transportation will look a lot like it does during the Celebration of Light, an event that spreads over four nights and manages hundreds of thousands of people on public transportation over the span of about 6 hours. So basically, we’ve been told it will be like that, only 2 to 4 weeks long.  Hip, hip.

I live on Commercial Drive, which will be turned into a semi-military zone with an ice rink that will host Olympic hockey team practices. I have friends who are dancing, acting, singing, and filming in the opening and closing ceremonies as well as in events throughout the entire length of the games. And I have no doubt Vancouver’s anti-games community will be represented across the city in it’s designated protest spots as well as outside of them. And then there’s me, right-smack in the middle of it all, on the phone, trying to negotiate a basic cable package.

It’s not like I’m a zombie who just sits and watches television all day. But like most people in the city, I will not be one of the privileged few actually sitting and cheering on our athletes in our host city venues. It doesn’t really leave me too many options. I can join the crowds and huddle in front of the jumbo screens they’re placing throughout the city and watch the ceremonies. Honestly, that’s not really my style.

While Vancouver’s top brass prepares for this once-in-a-lifetime event and the world descends upon Vancouver, the flame, so-to-speak, that is the spirit of this fascinating and beautiful city is left in the hands of those who traverse it’s streets everyday — Vancouverites, of which I am one. With this in mind, I’m strongly thinking about ditching the cable package and venturing out , yellow gumboots on and marching forward, in search of… what? If I’m lucky, I won’t find the Olympics, but rather the small moments that build the community that makes the city that’s part of the country that belongs to this planet that hosts this world event every four years.

Who’s with me?

Christmas is a Gumboot

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Christmas is a Gumboot.

Christmas is a Gumboot.

What can I say about Christmas and it’s spirit of community that hasn’t already been said? It’s a tough nut to crack, even for a season that provides so many Nutcracker suites. So I thought I’d share with you — our blogger community — a few family traditions that pre-date the gumboot, blogs, even the web, as we know it.

All through the house, not a creature was stirring… except the raging pizza party and the sound of Bill Murray in “Scrooged” on in the background…

Christmas Eve is very important in my family – just as important as Christmas day. It’s a night that belongs to pizza, movies, friends, a present or two (usually pajamas) and the 1923 edition of my father’s “The Night Before Christmas.” 

This year will be the first time I don’t spend Christmas Eve with my mum and dad (although, I’ll see them Christmas Day). I’ve been welcomed into a new community  – editor, Kurt Heinrich’s family. With this community comes a new collection of traditions, just as old and as important as my own. It will feel strange but I can’t help but be thankful that I have so many open doors and warm fires to sit by on this very special evening. 

The differences between this Christmas and past seasons have been building for weeks now. I realize I’ve slowly been making my own traditions and, so far, some of my favourite moments of the holiday have been spent with friends. More specifically, the editorial staff of the Gumboot over good food and drink.

My dad was a newspaper columnist and every Christmas Eve he would publish a new Christmas story. I can see why he looked forward to it every year. Christmas, I’m learning, is a time of year to take stock of community and it’s stories. It consistently balances old and new traditions. Like the people and friends we encounter in our life, we let go of what we no longer have room for, and welcome what and who we need in our community.

A tradition I’m slowly leaving behind me is one I will miss the most. When I was little, we had a rule in my home: no one was allowed to sneak our of their room and peak at stockings or presents under the tree until we heard the “Hallelujah” Chorus at full volume coming from the living room. I still feel this knot of excitement in my stomach everytime I hear Handel’s “Messiah.” 

I know I speak on behalf of everyone here at the Daily gumboot when I say today – Christmas Eve Day – we wish you warmth of spirit and generosity. Take stock and consider your own personal community – what you’ve said goodbye to in your life– who you’ve welcomed into it – and ask yourself, are there gumboots in your world.

Merry Christmas.

Slow Down, Bee-atch!

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(If you’re a returning Gumboot reader, you’ll know that me and editor Kurt Heinrich just got back from a trip to Oregon and the U-S of A. If this is your first time reading the Gumboot – good for you.)

2pac2Pac changed my life. Well — not really. I’m being dramatic. It’s more like he changed the pace of my life, or rather, he’s become a reminder that I need slow things down just a little. Allow me to explain. A’ight?

It was the second day of our trip and Kurt was driving towards the Oregon/Washington border. Being the totally accommodating and flexible person I am (shall we debate this point, Kurt?) I handed over full control of the car stereo. He was, after all, the one doing the driving. We were two people with nothing but the horizon and Oregonian breweries in our sights and 2Pac on the stereo – we had our mind on the money and our money on the mind – or was that Biggie Smalls?

Kurt was driving the speed limit along the 101 just outside of Olympia with none other than 2Pac singing ‘his pain’ on the stereo when an under-cover, Washington state-trooper driving the other direction pulled a U-turn and started tailing us. Kurt’s palms were sweaty, knees weak, arms were heavy, there’s vomit on his sweater already, mom’s spaghetti… wait a minute….

Lets just say he was totally freaked. We were both freaked. I mean, what other reason would the trooper have to follow us other than to pull us over? Were we speeding? No. Were we up to no good because we were listening to 2Pac and “his pain?” U.S. state troopers aren’t like our run-of-the-mill highway patrol (a league of men and women I almost never see, in this country.) State troopers wait with bated breath to catch you pulling 60 in a 50 zone — especially in Oregon. It’s how they make up for the fact they don’t have a sales tax. State troopers along the Washington/Oregon border have a reputation and not for a moment did we even consider that our predicament would be the exception.

Thankfully, our Deus Ex Machina came in the form of a speeding car, traveling the other way, over the crest of a hill. The trooper hit his lights and turned around, following our god machine the other way. What a save — it felt like fate had stepped in and spared us the cost of several dinners out and brews-on-tap — our vacation was saved by a red Toyota driving the other way! Our relief was slightly delayed because we thought the flashing lights and siren were for us. By the time we realized we were in the safe, the trooper was already chasing the other car and we were well on our way towards Oregon. We both calmed down and returned to 2Pac, whose metre and verse is now a reminder for me to take it nice and slow: “best be prepared for the Outlawz, here we come.”

Thank you 2Pac.