It’s kind of a funny story…

Last night was a weird and wonderful one. So, I arrive home – chatting on the phone – to find my lovely wife, Michelle Burtnyk-Horn, in the living room working away on her computer. I hang up, give her a kiss, and she says, “I got bread on the way home.” (We’re super-romantic, by the way). And I reply, “Oh, that’s funny, because I got bread yesterday.” Michelle chuckles and says, “Where is it?” And I said, “In the freezer.” And then all I hear is laughter.

Here’s why:

Coincidence, connection or conspiracy? You decide!

Oh, it got funnier. We also bought delicious Apple Fig Bars, too – they’re a delectable impulse purchase at the counter of Kea Foods on Main Street.

Long story short, we each bought the same thing at totally different times without talking to each other about it.


The Facts:

FACT: I bought Uprisings sourdough light rye bread and a package of apple fig bars from Kea Foods at 6:17pm on January 3, 2012.

FACT: I purchased the apple fig bars at the checkout counter because I know that Michelle likes them a lot.

FACT: I originally stopped at Kea Foods for mushrooms and I knew we also needed bread (for the weekend, though, not that night).

FACT: Michelle bought Uprisings sourdough light rye bread and a package of apple fig bars from Kea Foods at 5:58pm on January 4, 2012.

FACT: Michelle bought apple fig bars at the checkout counter because they are delicious. And she was hungry and wanted to eat one on the way home.

FACT: She ate more than one.

FACT: Michelle had no idea that I bought these items the day before. The bread went in the freezer. The apple fig bars went in the cheese-drawer. And I cooked dinner, so I was the only one in the fridge on the evening of Tuesday, January 3, 2012.

FACT: Michelle and I rarely shop at KEA Foods.



“We just laughed and laughed and laughed. And then we hugged and jumped around a bit, you know, because we’re huge nerds. I mean, in our lives, this is pretty exciting stuff! It’s weird how it all came together, though, because neither of us said anything about it to the other – not an ‘I’m gonna get bread’ or anything. Like I said, weird. I guess it’s just our loving superconnection!”

- John Horn

“Despite the fact that neither of us routinely shop at KEA foods or purchase those items, it – oddly enough – didn’t seem that odd that we had purchased the exact same items. I mean, as John said, we do have a super awesome love superconnection! That being said, this occurance definitely warranted jumping, laughing, and examination on a world-renowned blog*”

- Michelle Burtnyk-Horn


  • The Great Minds, Deep Love Theory:
    • Everything is connected. We all consist of protons and electrons and stuff.
    • Michelle and I have an uncanny mental connection.
    • Our minds, like our connected hearts and souls, work as one.
    • Each of our brains simultaneously informs the other of our intentions, thus, periodically, creating “double-up” anomolies wherein each person carries out the same thought independently of the other person.
  • The Boring Routine Theory:
    • We do the same thing so friggin’ often that our stale routine (unlike the delicious sourdough light rye) has trapped us in an inescapable rut.
    • Saying we need to “shake things up” is an understatement.
  • The “Big Sourdough” Conspiracy Theory:
    • It’s simple. The Sourdough Industrialists are controlling our minds with their delicious, delicious product. They have a plan. And it involves enslaving the world.
    • Bakers are merely the minions of this unstoppable doughy juggernaut of a world domination scheme.
  • The Total Coincidence Theory:
    • The universe is random and cruel hilarious and bestows wonderful surprises of bread and figs upon its inhabitants!
  • The Hidden Meaning Theory:
    • There’s something more to this than we know…like Michelle and I are going to have twins…or two sets of twins.

So, what’s your theory?

Whatever the case, this is just another story that shows how important it is for people to appreciate the little things in life. After all, such a silly moment of joy was a marvelous muse for the evening!

*This claim refers, of course, to The Daily Gumboot. “World-renowned” claim according to John Horn, Kurt Heinrich, and their parents


4 thoughts on “It’s kind of a funny story…

  1. One shudders at the possibility of the two of you independently looking at housing. Cheers, D.

  2. Jon, I think you’re on to something with that comment. In fact, it was with a colleague of ours that I first wrote about how finding a job is just like dating. We could definitely explore this idea of the Chaos Theory of Love.

    Dad, Michelle and I each bought a new Townhouse last night. I’ll be calling you tonight about a pretty generous loan you’re about to make…

    - JCH

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