Fashion Hangover a la Vancouver 2010

For better or for worse the Olympics have come and gone. For some of us their departure has left us with the sense of, “Hey, the party was just getting started!” for others, it’s a case of “Good riddance, no more frenzied crowds, no more line ups,  no more searchlight thingies and no more incessant  helicopter chatter overhead.” Still, lingering nostalgia remains,  and it’s not for the spectacle of Koreans kicking butt at  short track, Heineken at the Holland House  or Robson Square Zipliners. These were great things, but nothing compares to the void that has been left by the departure of thousands of athletes. And their outfits. Their really nifty, nifty outfits. For two weeks the world’s athletes accomplished both amazing sporting feats and  pushed athletic fashion to a whole new level. These Olympics can and should be remembered as a  pageant of funky spandex designs, nifty parkas and everything in between. So, while i’m not sorry to see our speed skaters’ saran-wrapped thighs go, there were plenty of designs which i’ll remember fondly.

Some of my personal faves.

I like to call this number (above) the “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Intimidation Suit”. The Austrailians did everything right here. Their opponents were probably left wondering, “Are these guys really ‘turtles in a half shell’? And if so, ‘do they have turtle power too?!’Pretty neat stuff. All part of the Australian amazing game plan to compensate for their lack of snow at home.

Personally, I don’t find curling very interesting. Probably because I never watch it for long enough to get into a ‘match’ due to my inability to comprehend anything that’s happening. With so many know-nothings like me apt to reach for the channel changer, Team Norway clearly knew what they were up against and came out with these funky attention grabbing harlequin curling clown pants. Hurry Hard Norway, way to build your curling community.

I’m at a loss for words with this one. But “brilliant” is the first one that comes to mind. This body-hugging spectacle of luminous spandex could do nothing but dazzle spectators and judges alike. Sure, the Ukranians made themselves easy targets with this creation, but let’s face it, it was a ballsy, all-or-nothing move which made them stand out from the pack. They flew in the face of figure skating couture convention. And I applaud them for it.

Ah, the Russians. Off the ice they set the bar pretty high with their street couture, which was flamboyant, stylish and boldly told the world that “watch out we’ll be seeing you in Sochi!” You just couldn’t miss them in any crowd, particularly since they often moved in coordinated packs.  They also took Olympic Swag to a whole new level, with caps and fannie packs for added punch.

Lastly, there was us and our mittens. Something like 3.5  million of these things were bought before and during the Olympics. Well done HBC. Well done Vanoc. I have to say, these hand warmers were a master stroke of fashion and functionality, who wouldn’t want to keep their hand warm and wave the maple leaf at the same time?

Goodbye Olympics. You were fash-tastic and you will be remembered fondly.

4 thoughts on “Fashion Hangover a la Vancouver 2010

  1. Well said, Godfrey. Having been given a Russian hat for my birthday – joke or heartfelt (or both), I’ll never know – I can attest to the true power of their uniforms. Not once, not twice, but thrice, I was soluted as “comrade” by my fellow Ruskies as I navigated the streets of Vancouver on Saturday, February 27.

    Will sexily dressed Canadians be treated so well in Sochi? Only time will tell…even if the Russian media never does…

    - JCH

  2. the austrialians seemed to have a number of funny olympic ideas — the kangeroo, the ninja turtle, and not to mention their very presence at the winter games. i mean, do they even get winter there?

    still, the number of african nations reached near the double digits, so why not the austrailians…?

  3. Ok Godfrey – so I think this is one of the funniest articles I’ve read on the boot in a while. Well done.

    My two personal favorites from the Olympics – the German team’s uniform that proclaimed then as part of a team in big block letters. Taking stating the obvious to a whole new level. And then there are those ridiculous figure skaters you mentioned. So silly was there outfit that even the announcers were razzing them, live and on air. I have to say, I’d never been so interested in figure skating before….

  4. @Kurt: The Team-thing was probably necessary for us because Germany of late suffers badly from a new “every man for himself”-mentality… XD Well, unless they’re true punkrockers.

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