I know what you are, but what am I?

This article was written several months ago by Editor-in-Controversy, Kurt Heinrich. And, since Stephen Colbert is arriving in Vancouver tomorrow (Tuesday, February 17), we thought this would present a solid reminder of what’s really at stake during the Olympics. That’s right: whose community is better?

It’s starting to look like a bit of a pitched battle between two communities (yup – I’m tying our ever-present theme into even this post!).  Canada vs. The Colbert Nation. While we’re a real country, I’m pretty sure they’ve got more people on their side.

It all got started with an article in the New York Times reporting that Canada wasn’t planning on allowing other countries, including the USA, to practice on the ice of the Richmond Oval (among other facilities) in the lead up to the Olympics. Titled Canada Protects Home Advantage at Olympics, the article features critiques by US athletes and coaches for Canadian and VANOC officials’ decision to invoke their home court advantage.

Unsurprisingly, a producer over at the Colbert Report spotted the headline as fodder for their show. The decision to “call Canada out” was doubtlessly an easy one to make.

Not to take it on the cheek, the CBC struck back (way to earn your public financing guys – I love it):

The jab evidently got Colbert’s attention leading him to start a letter writing campaign on his website and putting our entire country “on notice”. I’d link to the video, except because I live in Canada (along with a lot of our readership – we aren’t offered Comedy Central’s online TV streaming – score another one for the Americans…).

Colbert’s reaction provoked yet another barrage from the CBC. This one even better than the first.

Now, even Richmond is getting involved in the spat. Yesterday they sent out the following news release came from their corporate communications department:

Canadian Iceholes Challenge Colbert to Trek North

17 November 2009

Despite his egregious slurs against Canadians and the Richmond Olympic Oval, the City of Richmond is extending an olive branch and inviting television host Stephen Colbert to the Great White North.

The host of The Colbert Report recently announced he was coming on board as a sponsor of the cash-strapped US speed skating team, launching a fundraising campaign on his website. In a subsequent broadcast, he also attacked “syrup-sucking Canadian Iceholes”, accusing them of denying ice time to the American speed skating team at the Richmond Olympic Oval, which will host long track speed skating competition during the 2010 Olympic Winter Games.

“We are proud syrup suckers who have been unfairly branded as cheats,” says City spokesperson Ted Townsend. “The fact is we would never knowingly harm one of our American cousins. However, we feel the best way to prove we are committed to fair play is for Mr. Colbert to come and see for himself.”

In fact, the City of Richmond, which built and owns the Richmond Olympic Oval, is offering to appoint Mr. Colbert as an official Ombudsman to monitor the treatment of Americans during the Games.

“We’ve even created a special uniform for the new Ombudsman’s position, consisting of a lovely Richmond Olympic Oval pink toque, which we think would make Mr. Colbert look very officious.”

The City has formally sent a letter of invitation to The Colbert Report’s studios in New York City encouraging him to “find yourself some sled dogs and venture forth to our great frozen wasteland to be our guest at the 2010 Olympic Winter Games in February.”

I have to say I’m loving both the CBC and Richmond these days.

Bring it on Colbert – bring it on.

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