There are certainly several words to describe the cultural experience that is the 10 year high school reunion: anxious, awkward, vengeance, respect, restitution, empowered, excited, nervous, superawesome, connection, justification, snobbery, aloofness, interesting, “why did I come here?”, shenanigans, friendship, ridiculous, gong-show, and bitchin’.

Some Classy Folks from the Class of '99 with Special Guests

A few weekends ago I threw down such a gauntlet. Nearly 200 graduates from GP Vanier’s class of 1999 – some accompanied by husbands, wives, partners, girlfriends, boyfriends, and wingpeople -  descended on the Comox Valley’s Filberg Centre to catch-up, share stories and assess the “success-to-fat-to-bald” ratio of their classmates.  For the record, our classy class was, like, 540 people who’s graduating slogan was, I kid you not, “the best there was, the best there is, the best there ever will be.” Democracy, not unlike the WWF, ruled at our school. We were also a talented group of kids, it’s true. And, to this day, pro-wrestling fans are still one of the most powerful lobby groups in North America.

Moving on…

Here is some context and a pre-reunion backstory. After a heated argument with my father about my “post-modern” approach to wood stacking, I left home at the age of 18 and hooked up with a group of Chinese pirates heading for Singapore. After a few years at sea followed by a brief stint attending some of Eastern Canada’s more decorated bastions of higher education – and Bishop’s University – I basically lost touch with all but a few people from my graduating class. In high school, well, I wasn’t overly picked on, but wasn’t overly invited to parties, either. Sports, school and student journalism kept me busy and edutained, but by no means was high school a “top 10 life experience” in The Journey of John to this day [Editor's Note: if high school is in your top three life experiences, I recommend you speak to one of South America's leading Life Coaches, Martin Renauld]; or take up a non-vice-related hobby, any hobby, really].

Two of the Evening's Best Conversationalists

Needless to say, I was eager to arrive at the reunion and re-connect with as many people as possible. Being lucky enough to have a witty, kind and gorgeous fiancee on my arm was certainly a confidence booster, as was my sporting a pretty decent “success-to-fat-to-bald” ratio. It was time for the The Reunion Experience to begin!

SFU Business Professor Ginger Grant encourages people to “find their tribe” in the world of work as in life. Well, Class of ’99 grads, many of us did just that on reunion night. The tables of people and circles of conversation maintained the cliquish structure of our high school days, which is expected, I guess – I mean, why would you want to rediscover doucheyness from decades-passed? Thing is, people change. Speaking of change, as the drinks flowed like, well, drinks, people left the safety of their tables and ventured out into a delightful fray of messiness, mustaches, mingling, and machismo. Man, even some of the cool girls talked to the people they looked right through 10 years ago! Plato would’ve been proud, as the modestly priced and modestly mixed drinks allowed us to “enjoy each others’ company and chiefly refresh [ourselves] with learned discussion.” Believe it or not, there was a heck of intellectualism, social leveling and man-on-man bum pinching at the Class of ’99 Reunion, which had a little to do with alcohol, sure, but more to do with, as co-Valedictorian Ian Cullen put it, us being a “a pretty cool and down-to-Earth group of people.” For the record, this is the eleventh time Mr. Cullen has been quoted in juxtaposition to Plato.

Food and drink. Check! Cool people. Check! Interesting and, hopefully, amazing stories. Well, read on, my friends.

Here are the five best stories and/or things about the Class of 99 Reunion:

1. Bob Atwood Invented Facebook. At least that’s the word on the street; but it will be hard for Bob to have a voice or presence within this 250 million member medium because, understanably enough, he doesn’t use Facebook. If anyone wants to start a “Bob Atwood Invented Facebook” group, well, I’m sure it would catch fire like Athens and our friend would greatly appreciate the irony. Mark Zuckerberg, beware, as you have some of the stingiest legal minds from Vancouver Island coming your way!

2. “Maybe all the people losing their hair stayed home.” This was said as an observation of the fact that everyone at the reunion, pretty much, still had amazing hair. I’d put our grad class (with significant others included) against any other in a purely superficial, old fashioned lookin’ good contest any day of the week.

3. The unique stories and conversations made things perpetually interesting. Now, I go to a lot of networking events around Vancouver, and it’s never fun having to give the same canned answer over and over and over. The Class of ’99 Reunion had no such repetition and people generally avoided long-winded diatribes about material things, sexual conquests or their complicated route to and from work. Thanks for the freshness, y’all.

It wouldn't be a GP Vanier Formal without baseball caps

4. Confederate Flags. I know. This is a weird one. But anyone who went to my high school will tell you that, well, confederate flags – on shirts as well as immense pickup trucks – were a badge of Redneck honour at GP Vanier Secondary School. Just as there was chewing tobacco spit in the drinking fountain or and a need to be sure the emergency break was engaged so your car didn’t get pushed in the ditch surrounding the student parking lot, there were pictorial allusions to the South rising again. Fortunately enough, it seemed that only one attendee – a kindhearted and very friendly young iron worker -  still does not fully grasp the contentious power of said symbolic decoration, but, hey, neither did the Duke Boys, right?!

5. Unpretentiousness. What better place than a high school reunion to talk about how great you’ve become? During my navigation of the reunion, however, I found no such pretentions creating one-sided conversations amongst graduates. And there were some very cool people doing very cool things. But, man, we’re from Courtenay – no point taking ourselves too seriously.

So, do you have a high school or university reunion coming up in the weeks, months or years ahead? Are you, like many of the people at my reunion were, anxious or nervous about the event? Well, here are five simple tips on how to note just survive, but thrive at your reunion:

1. Be Yourself. “If you’ve gotta think about being cool, you ain’t cool.” Well said, Johnny Depp and Keith Richards – arguably a couple of very cool characters. If you are a little trepidatious about being yourself, well, maybe be a pirate…

2. If you want to be someone else, have an Amazing Story. To quote a young George Costanza, “it’s not a lie if you believe it.” Too concerned about being cool to actually be cool? Well, there’s an answer for that, too. Make stuff up! Just know that if you want to hit the reunion with tales of exotic foreign intrigue, business cards that say “Existential Detective” or a story of how you’re Charlize Theron’s body-double, make sure that you’ve got enough yarn in your pocket to spin for awhile. Ideally, your story should be able to survive three probing follow-up questions before it crumbles apart. Consider creating some online content (blog, Facebook, LinkedIn, etc.) before arriving, too – you know, just to create a bit of a buzz.

3. Bring a Well-Prepared Wingperson. A little nervous about facing former foes? Well, find an outgoing, superfun and risk-taking friend to boost your personal brand might be a good idea. Get creative, too. Maybe your friend “Tom” from “Ninja School” is also a Mathematician or a Doctor. And you can always flip it around, too. Have a friend show up completely unattached to you. And then get said friend to act like an obnoxious creep. And then be sure that you – The Reunion Hero – are the one who defuses a potentially dangerous situation. There are 1001 recipes for characters and scenarios, people. Go with what works for you.

4. Ask Good Questions. As the age-old piece of relationship-building advice goes: “be more interested than interesting.” Would you rather know what someone does for work or learn about what they do for fun, their search for inner peace and/or strategy for global domination? Interesting questions are easy to find, because, really, how many times can you ask “hey, remember that time we got so wasted?” at a reunion.

5. Unpretentiousness. “You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else.” Well, Tyler Durden might use pure hyperbole, but you get the idea. I think you’re special, don’t worry; but the person you’re talking to…they’re more special.

And so the Chronicles of the GP Vanier Class of ’99 Reunion conludeth. Thanks again to the organizing team and all the supercool people who made the evening as memorable as that kick-ass party at The Lake that time. I wish anyone attending their high school reunion – or a reunion of any kind – the best of luck and hope that happiness weaves its way into your experience. If you remember one thing from what happened about, remember to have fun with it. We did!

- JCH

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