• 1 undersold GM Place
• 15 cued lines of angry AKON fans forced to exchange tickets for new seats to offset the undersold concert
• 1000 really, really short skirts
• a large handful of people from every ethnic community in Vancouver/Lower Mainland
• 2 three ton giant banana shaped speakers capable of thumping so hard your clothes feel the breeze
• a shitload of other smaller speakers
• a large pinch of super drunk and tatted out “gangstars”
• a sprinkle of the VPD’s finest
• 20 cups of young men wearing funny baseball caps askew
• 1 guy wearing a pink skirt and a mohawk
• 1 AKON
• 1 Karlwolf (never heard of him before, but you learn something new everyday)
• 1 Danny Fernandez
• 2 backup dancers from the “hood”
• 1 random Surrey rapper who does a lot of pacing on the small stage
• a generous mix of hummer and SUV limousines
• a generous serving of concerned parents watching suspiciously as their teenage daughters scream they want to be a “private dancer” for AKON
• 10 cups of boy-band-esque dance moves
• 1000 bright lights
• a bakers dozen angry after-concert fights
• 1 code word that’s guaranteed to “take things to the next level with your woman”

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